Yes, it's Christmas.
I'm now in my second post as a junior doctor, working at a district general in what really can only be described as the Scottish countryside. It is nice, very different to my old job. The pace is certainly slower and in part that is because of the speciality, and in part because of the hospital and the general atmosphere in which people work. People have time for you. Time to be nice and smile and generally try to help one another. So overall I feel the support is very "overt" unlike my last place of work. However, and there is a but of course! I actually really miss my old job... Not the hours, and not the fact that my job quickly became my entire existence except when I had days off in lieu of the really rather insane hours we were working. When I think about it now, sometimes it almost seems like maybe it didn't really happen, it was so bad! But I have known for some time, I'm generally a very impatient person. And therefore breaks, and having time to mill around during the day do not mix as well with my personality as I thought they might. Not that I prefer a break-less day!
I digress.
So I'm now actually already back from the countryside for my 10-day-probably-once-in-my-career-Christmas-break! Today was spent preparing our Christmas meal - slow roasted lamb with slow roasted veg, followed by a delectable pavlova and washed down with wine, port and stilton. My contribution was three types of home made mince pies for before (during board games) and after (during a slightly heated conversation about car permits..) which overall I was quite pleased with! Turns out adding apple and orange juice works well to dampen down the sweetness of shop bought mince meat. Alternatively as my housemate did, you can literally stew raisins/sultantas/candied peel for hours - drink the liquid and save the pulp for mincemeat! Next year I might add in some nuts for crunchiness. And I heard even chocolate can work well... maybe that takes the mince truly out of mince pies though...!
In two days my family come up for our elongated Christmas celebration on one of the Scottish islands in the west. We thought last year would be our last together and so for the first time went away for it, to Lapland. We were extremely lucky and caught a glimpse of the Northern Lights whilst sitting on sleighs being pulled by reindeer, at 5pm on Christmas Day. This sounds made up but it is in fact, true! So there's an extremely high bar to beat, but with board games, ginger wine, a gingerbread train to make and a ready-roasted turkey to bake, I think we'll be in for another treat :)
Tuesday, 23 December 2014
Monday, 10 November 2014
Looking ahead
I can hardly believe it when I look to my calendar and see it is 10th November 2014. What happened to Spring, Summer and Autumn?!
We are three weeks away from the end of our first posts as junior doctors and I find myself in a position where oddly, I can say I think I'll miss it! Going to work now feels much more manageable and definitely enjoyable. And the best bit is working with my colleagues :) from my fellow juniors, fantastic nurses and sometimes even a senior who joins in a joke! I am pleased to say I have also finally come to a point to where when I get home I am sometimes able to muster up the energy to sort out academic work, life admin, and even make lunch for the next day. (In reverse order of importance, of course).
Looking ahead however, I'm excited that I'll soon being doing a medical job - what I think and hope will be much more my element than surgery ever could be! I'll be based in a hospital in Melrose - a large and very busy district general serving a countryside population who live in the Scottish Borders - just across from England. (Humans are so original sometimes!) I expect I will gain very different clinical experiences, perhaps be given a bit more responsibility, and have the chance to engage with lots of new people once again but whom I would expect to see both in and out of work quite a lot since most of the juniors live next door to the hospital.
Looking further ahead still, today I had to discuss my job choices for next year. Essentially there is a ranking process and you must hope that few others wish to do the jobs you would like. Of course there will be some give and take, and so I hope that I will be happy with my allocations as they will likely impact my thoughts on my future path both clinically and location-wise. A supervisor also asked me recently if I planned to stay in Edinburgh until consultant level... I realised this question had not even remotely crossed my mind before. And who knows the answer?! I only just got here!
We are three weeks away from the end of our first posts as junior doctors and I find myself in a position where oddly, I can say I think I'll miss it! Going to work now feels much more manageable and definitely enjoyable. And the best bit is working with my colleagues :) from my fellow juniors, fantastic nurses and sometimes even a senior who joins in a joke! I am pleased to say I have also finally come to a point to where when I get home I am sometimes able to muster up the energy to sort out academic work, life admin, and even make lunch for the next day. (In reverse order of importance, of course).
Looking ahead however, I'm excited that I'll soon being doing a medical job - what I think and hope will be much more my element than surgery ever could be! I'll be based in a hospital in Melrose - a large and very busy district general serving a countryside population who live in the Scottish Borders - just across from England. (Humans are so original sometimes!) I expect I will gain very different clinical experiences, perhaps be given a bit more responsibility, and have the chance to engage with lots of new people once again but whom I would expect to see both in and out of work quite a lot since most of the juniors live next door to the hospital.
Looking further ahead still, today I had to discuss my job choices for next year. Essentially there is a ranking process and you must hope that few others wish to do the jobs you would like. Of course there will be some give and take, and so I hope that I will be happy with my allocations as they will likely impact my thoughts on my future path both clinically and location-wise. A supervisor also asked me recently if I planned to stay in Edinburgh until consultant level... I realised this question had not even remotely crossed my mind before. And who knows the answer?! I only just got here!
Monday, 13 October 2014
100 hours
I have looked forward to this day in a long time. The day after one week of leading an elective team, followed swiftly by a dreaded seven days on call - a week that on paper should amount (legally or illegally) to 90 hours of service. In reality of course it was far more. It was an endurance test. Initially adrenaline keeps you waking up at 6am, despite having only reached home sometimes at 11pm the night before often without lunch and only minimal water. I'm probably making it sound silly, but the reality is you are so busy food rarely crosses your mind! Then you start relying on adrenaline, a strong dose of caffeine and a mid-morning KitKat.
Yesterday, the last of the seven, felt a bit like the end of a long race... you don't think you can keep going but you can see the end in sight. By about midday, I felt very disorientated. Words I uttered didn't quite make sense - small tasks seemed more mammoth. Like in the early hours of the morning after a few nights of work.
But we all survive! And the patients too.
Now I have eighteen (hopefully) blissful days to catch up on admin, my part-time degree, see my family and venture to Turkey! :D
Sometimes I'm not sure if it's oxygen or adrenaline that really keeps us going.
Yesterday, the last of the seven, felt a bit like the end of a long race... you don't think you can keep going but you can see the end in sight. By about midday, I felt very disorientated. Words I uttered didn't quite make sense - small tasks seemed more mammoth. Like in the early hours of the morning after a few nights of work.
But we all survive! And the patients too.
Now I have eighteen (hopefully) blissful days to catch up on admin, my part-time degree, see my family and venture to Turkey! :D
Sometimes I'm not sure if it's oxygen or adrenaline that really keeps us going.
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
2 months and an #indyref
It's 23rd September which means I have now been living in (a non-independent) Scotland for 8 weeks pretty much exactly, and been practising as an F1 for 7. Time flies when you're having fun, eh...? Or just when you're too busy to realise perhaps..?!
There's been so much that is new to me. More so than I guess I've ever experienced. The working out how to get the bus, where to buy my toilet roll at 2230, where to grind your own almond nut butter (yes it exists and yes it's worth the walking 20 minutes out of my way to grind it myself!)... to who to trust... on the street, on the wards, and when to just trust yourself.
Then there was even a slight wave of politics that ran through me. Yes the #indyref as they called it.
I have never, ever been once remotely interested in what in politics - not when I was 16, despite spending most waking hours of my life physically in the shadow of parliament, and not now, despite many of my friends reminding me I should be otherwise. But this time was different. A question had been raised that might change the course of modern history. And Everyone (with a capital E) was talking about it. Yes and No posters lined and do still line the windows. Badges were being worn. The news was rife with Team Westminster vs Salmond - I couldn't escape it even on a treadmill!
It was when I started speaking to some students during my postgrad freshers week that I realised the seriousness to the situation. Some of them were a few years younger than me, fresh out of an undergrad degree or just a mature student about to start university a bit later in life. But I realised that whilst I was young and naive, they were even more so. In the same way I was a few years back. Their votes were their family's vote - not one that was informed and certainly not autonomous. This kicked me to go read up a bit more about both campaigns - there were plenty of flyers coming through our letter box but I needed less propaganda and more facts. And there hit the problem. There were few facts because most of the campaign was hinging on yet again politicians making up their own!
To cut a long story short, my conclusion was, that simply because of this, it most definitely had to be a No. The risks involved that would have surfaced if independence had been won were far too great. Salmond is charismatic, a true Scot at heart and in head, but I'm afraid I have to say the Yes campaign was based on little more than that; nationalists who wished their identities to be made official with a stamp and maybe a passport, and nothing more.
On Thursday 18th September, the day finally came, and even our hospital couldn't escape the excitement. There was talk of patients going on "day pass" so they could cast their vote, patients telling me they hadn't slept all night as they were listening to the radio, or the neighbouring patient was and so no-one in the bay had slept! There was a nervousness about.
On Friday morning, I awoke to read the news: Scotland has voted No. I felt a wave of relief. I didn't want to see the country I had just moved to potentially crumble to pieces even if it most probably wouldn't affect me! Things are good as they are. If it ain't broke therefore, best not to fix it.
I then drove past Yes campaigners drinking their sorrows away at 0730 in the morning sitting out on their windowledge. Our Scots will be Scots!
There's been so much that is new to me. More so than I guess I've ever experienced. The working out how to get the bus, where to buy my toilet roll at 2230, where to grind your own almond nut butter (yes it exists and yes it's worth the walking 20 minutes out of my way to grind it myself!)... to who to trust... on the street, on the wards, and when to just trust yourself.
Then there was even a slight wave of politics that ran through me. Yes the #indyref as they called it.
I have never, ever been once remotely interested in what in politics - not when I was 16, despite spending most waking hours of my life physically in the shadow of parliament, and not now, despite many of my friends reminding me I should be otherwise. But this time was different. A question had been raised that might change the course of modern history. And Everyone (with a capital E) was talking about it. Yes and No posters lined and do still line the windows. Badges were being worn. The news was rife with Team Westminster vs Salmond - I couldn't escape it even on a treadmill!
It was when I started speaking to some students during my postgrad freshers week that I realised the seriousness to the situation. Some of them were a few years younger than me, fresh out of an undergrad degree or just a mature student about to start university a bit later in life. But I realised that whilst I was young and naive, they were even more so. In the same way I was a few years back. Their votes were their family's vote - not one that was informed and certainly not autonomous. This kicked me to go read up a bit more about both campaigns - there were plenty of flyers coming through our letter box but I needed less propaganda and more facts. And there hit the problem. There were few facts because most of the campaign was hinging on yet again politicians making up their own!
To cut a long story short, my conclusion was, that simply because of this, it most definitely had to be a No. The risks involved that would have surfaced if independence had been won were far too great. Salmond is charismatic, a true Scot at heart and in head, but I'm afraid I have to say the Yes campaign was based on little more than that; nationalists who wished their identities to be made official with a stamp and maybe a passport, and nothing more.
On Thursday 18th September, the day finally came, and even our hospital couldn't escape the excitement. There was talk of patients going on "day pass" so they could cast their vote, patients telling me they hadn't slept all night as they were listening to the radio, or the neighbouring patient was and so no-one in the bay had slept! There was a nervousness about.
On Friday morning, I awoke to read the news: Scotland has voted No. I felt a wave of relief. I didn't want to see the country I had just moved to potentially crumble to pieces even if it most probably wouldn't affect me! Things are good as they are. If it ain't broke therefore, best not to fix it.
I then drove past Yes campaigners drinking their sorrows away at 0730 in the morning sitting out on their windowledge. Our Scots will be Scots!
Friday, 5 September 2014
Edinburgh
It's late and I'm preparing for my second batch of nights which start tomorrow, but I shan't bore you with more about the life of a baby doc - instead about my new home, Edinburgh.
What I found promising before coming here were the responses to "I'm moving to Edinburgh". No one ever replied with an "oh" or "OH". Instead there would usually be something along the lines of "Oooh I love Edinburgh" or "it's such a nice place", to which I would smile with relief at my decision being reaffirmed that maybe it was the right one.
Then when I came, I loved that the locals also loved their city (NB there's a lot of loving in this post!). In fact I distinctly remember my landlady chanting the same words I had heard from the taxi driver the day I signed my contract "I wouldn't live anywhere else in the world." Very promising! And you know, today as I was driving across the Forth Bridge (thinking to myself who needs San Francisco with this?!) to venture into what is signposted the "Kingdom of Fife" (no joke), I could totally see why they wouldn't.
Edinburgh is a lovely old yet new place. In the Old Town the architecture is quite gothic as my sister puts it, dark and towering spires in every corner but also mysteriously beautiful. Then of course you have all the new glassy modern buildings that every other European city has too, reminding you not to forget this city is also a part of the 21st century.
Then there are the people here, who are so much more friendly than I've ever been used to. People say thank you when leaving the bus (something thought of as profoundly strange in London, not that I've seen it much done!), people smile at each other on the street, greet each other in hospital, help each other without being prompted. Talking of helping each other, a new neighbour knocked on the door today, wearing no shoes, locked outside his flat! We agreed to lend him a pair of our flatmate's flip-flops so he could retrieve keys from a friend down the road. This is the second neighbour to knock on our door with a slightly random request! But here, helping one another, even if you haven't met before really isn't a strange thing. In fact, as I write this I realise writing about it at all is such a sad thing. This should be the norm!
There are literally umpteen other reasons as to why I love it so much already... great food (even for a choosey foodie!), the countryside, beach and mountains on your doorstep, a short, relatively stress-free commute to work, pop up ever-changing festivals and markets, standalone cafés and shops, a culture that embraces keeping fit... the only downsides really are the unpredictable weather and my family being 4 hours away! But I'm getting accustomed to both those things... and actually next week I'll be in London - my first trip "down South" since the big move. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I have to say though I know I love it too, I'm not actually missing London, yet! I'm sure the time will come but for now, (with or without independence), it's Scawwwwt-luund all the way!
What I found promising before coming here were the responses to "I'm moving to Edinburgh". No one ever replied with an "oh" or "OH". Instead there would usually be something along the lines of "Oooh I love Edinburgh" or "it's such a nice place", to which I would smile with relief at my decision being reaffirmed that maybe it was the right one.
Then when I came, I loved that the locals also loved their city (NB there's a lot of loving in this post!). In fact I distinctly remember my landlady chanting the same words I had heard from the taxi driver the day I signed my contract "I wouldn't live anywhere else in the world." Very promising! And you know, today as I was driving across the Forth Bridge (thinking to myself who needs San Francisco with this?!) to venture into what is signposted the "Kingdom of Fife" (no joke), I could totally see why they wouldn't.
Edinburgh is a lovely old yet new place. In the Old Town the architecture is quite gothic as my sister puts it, dark and towering spires in every corner but also mysteriously beautiful. Then of course you have all the new glassy modern buildings that every other European city has too, reminding you not to forget this city is also a part of the 21st century.
Then there are the people here, who are so much more friendly than I've ever been used to. People say thank you when leaving the bus (something thought of as profoundly strange in London, not that I've seen it much done!), people smile at each other on the street, greet each other in hospital, help each other without being prompted. Talking of helping each other, a new neighbour knocked on the door today, wearing no shoes, locked outside his flat! We agreed to lend him a pair of our flatmate's flip-flops so he could retrieve keys from a friend down the road. This is the second neighbour to knock on our door with a slightly random request! But here, helping one another, even if you haven't met before really isn't a strange thing. In fact, as I write this I realise writing about it at all is such a sad thing. This should be the norm!
There are literally umpteen other reasons as to why I love it so much already... great food (even for a choosey foodie!), the countryside, beach and mountains on your doorstep, a short, relatively stress-free commute to work, pop up ever-changing festivals and markets, standalone cafés and shops, a culture that embraces keeping fit... the only downsides really are the unpredictable weather and my family being 4 hours away! But I'm getting accustomed to both those things... and actually next week I'll be in London - my first trip "down South" since the big move. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I have to say though I know I love it too, I'm not actually missing London, yet! I'm sure the time will come but for now, (with or without independence), it's Scawwwwt-luund all the way!
Wednesday, 27 August 2014
Day 3 to Week 3
In a way it feels like we've been doing this forever but really we (and our patients) have survived just 3 weeks on the wards! I feel like the learning curve is still almost as steep but certainly we are also getting to grips with the daily tasks we need to perform. At least when we are asked to do something, you feel less like a rabbit standing in the headlights of multiple Landrovers... initially each day of work felt like a 12-hour long exam!
I myself have done days on call, anaesthetics shadowing, days managing the surgical high dependency unit, a week of nights and now am what they call the "twilight" down South or the "backshift" up here. (They have their own terminology for a LOT of things.)
Working in such a big unit means we are rotated through all these different positions which enable us to pick up a broad range of skills. HDU and nights you are less (but well) supported and are expected to assess unwell patients on your own. Of course at first this is daunting especially when people are very sick, but everyone has to start somewhere and as I say though there are fewer seniors to call, they come quickly when you need help. This is particularly important at night time where we are essentially the only person on the ground for about 150 surgical patients. In fact, what I've found surprising is I have enjoyed these experiences more than the "day job" where as a junior there is a lot of administrative paperwork to do - the discharges, the booking of procedures or investigations, and the odd clinical tasks but very little of the thinking that you train for so many years to do!
There have been lower points too - I've definitely sampled the blood, sweat and tears of the job with much more of that to come, but in any job this is to be expected. Mainly this derives from I guess the high expectations from the team and patients, and yourself. But it also drives excellent care of which I'm pleased to say I believe my hospital delivers on. It's Edinburgh's second largest unit - one of two teaching hospitals, and is the slightly older one - less modern and more humble and unassuming but people work hard and really know their stuff. Staff from all areas are also generally very friendly which makes a big difference, from the seniors (generally!) to nurses, support workers and the tea ladies.
So really, whilst the hours and the work is testing at times, I can't complain too much ;)
I myself have done days on call, anaesthetics shadowing, days managing the surgical high dependency unit, a week of nights and now am what they call the "twilight" down South or the "backshift" up here. (They have their own terminology for a LOT of things.)
Working in such a big unit means we are rotated through all these different positions which enable us to pick up a broad range of skills. HDU and nights you are less (but well) supported and are expected to assess unwell patients on your own. Of course at first this is daunting especially when people are very sick, but everyone has to start somewhere and as I say though there are fewer seniors to call, they come quickly when you need help. This is particularly important at night time where we are essentially the only person on the ground for about 150 surgical patients. In fact, what I've found surprising is I have enjoyed these experiences more than the "day job" where as a junior there is a lot of administrative paperwork to do - the discharges, the booking of procedures or investigations, and the odd clinical tasks but very little of the thinking that you train for so many years to do!
There have been lower points too - I've definitely sampled the blood, sweat and tears of the job with much more of that to come, but in any job this is to be expected. Mainly this derives from I guess the high expectations from the team and patients, and yourself. But it also drives excellent care of which I'm pleased to say I believe my hospital delivers on. It's Edinburgh's second largest unit - one of two teaching hospitals, and is the slightly older one - less modern and more humble and unassuming but people work hard and really know their stuff. Staff from all areas are also generally very friendly which makes a big difference, from the seniors (generally!) to nurses, support workers and the tea ladies.
So really, whilst the hours and the work is testing at times, I can't complain too much ;)
Friday, 8 August 2014
48 Hours as a Dr
Day 3 into the job and I'm tremendously grateful for a day off already!
My first two days involved me being "on call" - when you care for patients who come in acutely unwell. My schedule said I was to be in 0745 - 2010. It was in reality 0730 - 2215 both days!
Day one was a bit chaotic, as you might imagine. The day always starts and ends with a ward round - usually about 2 hours each, followed by the jobs that need to be done. My partner and I had had a practice run ward round the day before so we knew roughly what was expected. It was passable just about and since it was day one, the team went a bit easier on us. We then spent the morning figuring out how to do a discharge summary on the IT system (despite having had the training the day before!) whilst being harassed left, right and centre to discharge as quickly as possible, oh and this cannula, that ECG, this fluid chart, this review, oh and you need to do this now too etc etc! I didn't drink a drop from when I left home in the morning until 10pm that evening. But I didn't once feel I needed to either! Adrenaline does crazy things to the mind.
Day two was.. also chaotic! But in a different way. We knew what we were doing, but this time we were cut no slack. The list hadn't been updated because the second year doctors didn't know they were meant to. There were three students determined to stick with us (I now understand why students are not looked kindly on all the time!) The caseload that came in was also complicated - patients with multiple co-morbidites and therefore you have to keep a close eye on. They often say the most difficult thing as a junior is understanding when to escalate for help. I can now most definitely relate to this!
I remember at one moment standing in front of the computer at the nurses station, thinking, whoa I am juggling so many tasks. It was a strange feeling being halfway through so many things but not able to complete many of them as they were waiting on something else like a blood test to come back, or a nurse to come off their break. Prioritisation is a skill I need to develop! As the day went on, I never felt like I was flagging but I was aware it was highly unlikely even at the pace I was going I would be able to complete everything by the evening ward round which was to start at any time the team saw fit!
The moment came far sooner than I had hoped. The team literally appeared in front of me as if from nowhere and we were off. The other junior had no idea we had started and hence was on another ward. This was not the sort of time (when you're balancing three files and three obs/drugs charts) when you could phone! I trudged on, I think slowly becoming more and more frantic within myself. It didn't help the notes were scattered across the ward as the nurses had been giving out the evening medications. There was a lot of running around, scribbling, picking up dropped files, muttering of results and the occasional glare when something wasn't quite what they wanted to hear. (It's as if by magic we're expected to know how things operate in the hospital having not been told!)
We just about finished and I found it all a bit overwhelming. The team told us to complete jobs and meet them on a different ward. They left, and I couldn't help but well up. It was relentless and I felt I hadn't demonstrated how much work I'd put into the day to get everything done. But you live and learn!
We ended up staying another 3 hours to finish all the tasks that were left, before a much-needed debrief on the way home. All's well that ends well.
Here's to the learning curve getting less steep..!!
My first two days involved me being "on call" - when you care for patients who come in acutely unwell. My schedule said I was to be in 0745 - 2010. It was in reality 0730 - 2215 both days!
Day one was a bit chaotic, as you might imagine. The day always starts and ends with a ward round - usually about 2 hours each, followed by the jobs that need to be done. My partner and I had had a practice run ward round the day before so we knew roughly what was expected. It was passable just about and since it was day one, the team went a bit easier on us. We then spent the morning figuring out how to do a discharge summary on the IT system (despite having had the training the day before!) whilst being harassed left, right and centre to discharge as quickly as possible, oh and this cannula, that ECG, this fluid chart, this review, oh and you need to do this now too etc etc! I didn't drink a drop from when I left home in the morning until 10pm that evening. But I didn't once feel I needed to either! Adrenaline does crazy things to the mind.
Day two was.. also chaotic! But in a different way. We knew what we were doing, but this time we were cut no slack. The list hadn't been updated because the second year doctors didn't know they were meant to. There were three students determined to stick with us (I now understand why students are not looked kindly on all the time!) The caseload that came in was also complicated - patients with multiple co-morbidites and therefore you have to keep a close eye on. They often say the most difficult thing as a junior is understanding when to escalate for help. I can now most definitely relate to this!
I remember at one moment standing in front of the computer at the nurses station, thinking, whoa I am juggling so many tasks. It was a strange feeling being halfway through so many things but not able to complete many of them as they were waiting on something else like a blood test to come back, or a nurse to come off their break. Prioritisation is a skill I need to develop! As the day went on, I never felt like I was flagging but I was aware it was highly unlikely even at the pace I was going I would be able to complete everything by the evening ward round which was to start at any time the team saw fit!
The moment came far sooner than I had hoped. The team literally appeared in front of me as if from nowhere and we were off. The other junior had no idea we had started and hence was on another ward. This was not the sort of time (when you're balancing three files and three obs/drugs charts) when you could phone! I trudged on, I think slowly becoming more and more frantic within myself. It didn't help the notes were scattered across the ward as the nurses had been giving out the evening medications. There was a lot of running around, scribbling, picking up dropped files, muttering of results and the occasional glare when something wasn't quite what they wanted to hear. (It's as if by magic we're expected to know how things operate in the hospital having not been told!)
We just about finished and I found it all a bit overwhelming. The team told us to complete jobs and meet them on a different ward. They left, and I couldn't help but well up. It was relentless and I felt I hadn't demonstrated how much work I'd put into the day to get everything done. But you live and learn!
We ended up staying another 3 hours to finish all the tasks that were left, before a much-needed debrief on the way home. All's well that ends well.
Here's to the learning curve getting less steep..!!
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
The ultimate test
Tomorrow we are officially working doctors! It's a scary, scary thought. So scary that last night after one of my new flatmates poured out his fears, I realised, for once, I too was more scared than I had realised. Consequently I got very little sleep and ended up walking all the way to the hospital this morning as I had left so early.
It was a busy morning but I'm grateful my partner-in-crime and I at least had a practice run racing after our team lead who was working at absolute lightning speed. All the stories you hear about juniors simultaneously juggling notes/obs files/clipboards/themselves are true!
I'm determined not to make tonight another sleepless one so time for a bit more last minute revision (where a syllabus when you actually need one?!) before my last night as a junior doc who can pretend they aren't actually one at all!
It was a busy morning but I'm grateful my partner-in-crime and I at least had a practice run racing after our team lead who was working at absolute lightning speed. All the stories you hear about juniors simultaneously juggling notes/obs files/clipboards/themselves are true!
I'm determined not to make tonight another sleepless one so time for a bit more last minute revision (where a syllabus when you actually need one?!) before my last night as a junior doc who can pretend they aren't actually one at all!
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
A new home from home
Well, just 7 months after I heard I was coming here, I finally am: in Edinburgh! It's been of course slightly hectic! I flew out of London on Friday, arrived in Glasgow in the weekend lapping up some of the Commonwealth Games (hearing a whole stadium shout "Scccaaawwwtttt-luuuunnnnnd" is not something to forget!), catching up with old friends, having haggis and potato scones for breakfast (apparently that's how an English breakfast becomes a Scottish one?) and then by Sunday evening I was here in my new home :D
I was apprehensive, about the room I'd seen once, the new housemates half of whom I hadn't yet met, the hospital I'd also laid eyes on only once, the place I had visited just a handful of times. But it's all panned out really far better than I could have asked for!
For starters, my housemates (despite heated discussions over Whatsapp regarding who was taking which room for what price) are all very agreeable and already I can see the support that undoubtedly we will each rely on when we really start work, is blossoming. Tomorrow will be our first house meal out :)
The flat itself is also situated in a wonderful part of Edinburgh (Bruntsfield) - peppered with quaint cafes, two ice cream parlours a stone's throw away and the sorts of restaurants which you know must only serve home-made food - all my kind of thing! ;) And also lots of lovely shops you wouldn't find on a drab English high street.
Yesterday we all met the 190 or so doctors starting here for the first time. It felt remarkably like being at your first day of school except already there were many cliques! Of course all the Scottish universities had a cohort of representatives as expected, and I was relieved that I at least knew my housemates!
Then today was our first day at the hospital at which I will be spending a good part of 8 months this year working at. It's not too fancy, not too big and not too small and importantly whilst slightly disorganised people seemed friendly enough! I also met my fellow juniors who will be working along side me and they were all lovely :) It makes me slightly less dread the two 87.5hour weeks I have ahead of me!
This afternoon I had some time to cook for the first time in a while, and also move about the furniture in my room. I always find I feel much more at home once I've added a spot of me to a room - and it's true, it now feels like mine :) There are two tartan (of course) throws on the bed, but union jack bunting on my fireplace... my desk looks out towards my only narrow but tall window, and a few photos sparsely colour the walls. In a few weeks, when my parents kindly bring up the rest of my belongings that wouldn't fit into a suitcase (queue bike, kitchen utensils, printer, the list goes on...) I'm sure this room will resemble the tip of a room I very almost left in London! Then it'll definitely feel like my own ;)
I was apprehensive, about the room I'd seen once, the new housemates half of whom I hadn't yet met, the hospital I'd also laid eyes on only once, the place I had visited just a handful of times. But it's all panned out really far better than I could have asked for!
For starters, my housemates (despite heated discussions over Whatsapp regarding who was taking which room for what price) are all very agreeable and already I can see the support that undoubtedly we will each rely on when we really start work, is blossoming. Tomorrow will be our first house meal out :)
The flat itself is also situated in a wonderful part of Edinburgh (Bruntsfield) - peppered with quaint cafes, two ice cream parlours a stone's throw away and the sorts of restaurants which you know must only serve home-made food - all my kind of thing! ;) And also lots of lovely shops you wouldn't find on a drab English high street.
Yesterday we all met the 190 or so doctors starting here for the first time. It felt remarkably like being at your first day of school except already there were many cliques! Of course all the Scottish universities had a cohort of representatives as expected, and I was relieved that I at least knew my housemates!
Then today was our first day at the hospital at which I will be spending a good part of 8 months this year working at. It's not too fancy, not too big and not too small and importantly whilst slightly disorganised people seemed friendly enough! I also met my fellow juniors who will be working along side me and they were all lovely :) It makes me slightly less dread the two 87.5hour weeks I have ahead of me!
This afternoon I had some time to cook for the first time in a while, and also move about the furniture in my room. I always find I feel much more at home once I've added a spot of me to a room - and it's true, it now feels like mine :) There are two tartan (of course) throws on the bed, but union jack bunting on my fireplace... my desk looks out towards my only narrow but tall window, and a few photos sparsely colour the walls. In a few weeks, when my parents kindly bring up the rest of my belongings that wouldn't fit into a suitcase (queue bike, kitchen utensils, printer, the list goes on...) I'm sure this room will resemble the tip of a room I very almost left in London! Then it'll definitely feel like my own ;)
Saturday, 12 July 2014
Down Time
I think "down time" is such a rare thing in life. When are we not working/studying/preparing for exams...? Even holidays require planning, and can be very intense once you're enjoying them! I guess there is always something to do on our endless to do lists.
At the moment, I'm at one of those rare points in my life where I expected there to be, if I'm honest, quite a bit of down time... that transient period between two important phases of your life: university and work. I thought it would be a bit like being between school and university again - except then I had the luxury of many months rather than just one. But, of course, it hasn't quite panned out as expected!
Instead, I find myself trying to maximise on what could be my down time ;) mainly spending time with my family or seeing friends, plus the organising necessary of anyone about to move city/country for the first time! (More on that later?) But then the list of everything I'm putting off grows simultaneously longer...
For example, as I type, I am surrounded by far too many items that the hoarded in me deems to precious to throw out... My room has been a complete tip since coming my back from my world trip, and is unlikely to become much neater anytime soon I fear! Every time I start to move things back where they should be, something else crops up!
Perhaps, part of me doesn't want to start clearing it and packing everything into boxes... perhaps that slight fear of a new place, a new job, new people, becomes more real when I think about why this time when I finally clean up the mess, it's not simply because it was unbearably so, but because there is a new phase of life creeping up on the horizon. And one with probably far less "down time"...!
At the moment, I'm at one of those rare points in my life where I expected there to be, if I'm honest, quite a bit of down time... that transient period between two important phases of your life: university and work. I thought it would be a bit like being between school and university again - except then I had the luxury of many months rather than just one. But, of course, it hasn't quite panned out as expected!
Instead, I find myself trying to maximise on what could be my down time ;) mainly spending time with my family or seeing friends, plus the organising necessary of anyone about to move city/country for the first time! (More on that later?) But then the list of everything I'm putting off grows simultaneously longer...
For example, as I type, I am surrounded by far too many items that the hoarded in me deems to precious to throw out... My room has been a complete tip since coming my back from my world trip, and is unlikely to become much neater anytime soon I fear! Every time I start to move things back where they should be, something else crops up!
Perhaps, part of me doesn't want to start clearing it and packing everything into boxes... perhaps that slight fear of a new place, a new job, new people, becomes more real when I think about why this time when I finally clean up the mess, it's not simply because it was unbearably so, but because there is a new phase of life creeping up on the horizon. And one with probably far less "down time"...!
Friday, 27 June 2014
So long, farewell...
Tomorrow is our last day of medical school. I can't quite believe it! It only feels like last week I was moving into Halls, bright eyed, not really knowing anyone and blissfully unaware of how these last six years would pan out. And boy was it eventful ;)
Tomorrow is "Doctors Day". We have some talks from alumni, receive our official results and get to sign ourselves as Doctors on a board..! We're clearly easily impressed. I'm sure in six years from now, we'll have higher standards!
Then on Sunday is our Affirmation ceremony - basically like a mini graduation, to which I mentioned previously my (paternal) grandparents would be coming to. And they're here :) I'm super glad they are, as I think these last few months have made me realise more than before that really I am who I am, I am sitting where I'm sitting, typing what I'm typing and will be who I will be almost all because of them :)
My grandad in particular has always been a hero of mine. A slight maverick, kind, clever, friendly, hugely dedicated and loved by everyone who knows him. I wish I could say the same about myself but certainly I do see more and more of his passions in me: his love for travel, photography, a curiosity in people, a love for the outdoors and being constantly busy...
I digress. I'm just so happy that they could make it. And whoops... Today is my last day of med school! :D
...Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu!
Tomorrow is "Doctors Day". We have some talks from alumni, receive our official results and get to sign ourselves as Doctors on a board..! We're clearly easily impressed. I'm sure in six years from now, we'll have higher standards!
Then on Sunday is our Affirmation ceremony - basically like a mini graduation, to which I mentioned previously my (paternal) grandparents would be coming to. And they're here :) I'm super glad they are, as I think these last few months have made me realise more than before that really I am who I am, I am sitting where I'm sitting, typing what I'm typing and will be who I will be almost all because of them :)
My grandad in particular has always been a hero of mine. A slight maverick, kind, clever, friendly, hugely dedicated and loved by everyone who knows him. I wish I could say the same about myself but certainly I do see more and more of his passions in me: his love for travel, photography, a curiosity in people, a love for the outdoors and being constantly busy...
I digress. I'm just so happy that they could make it. And whoops... Today is my last day of med school! :D
...Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu!
Saturday, 12 April 2014
Made it :)
I have apparently now been a (currently holidaying) junior dr for just over 24 hours! I also did that super geeky silly thing of booking tickets (to Sydney Zoo!) under my new prefix earlier. The novelty will wear off very soon I'm sure. Also really hoping (for them and me) that on the 25 hour flight I'm taking tomorrow from Canada to Australia, no one is taken ill!! That would be a true test of my skills that I would rather postpone for now. The pain from the last set of exams is still raw!
This week with my grandparents has once again flown by (clearly we've been having too much fun!) but I'll see them soon enough at my pre-graduation ceremony back home in June :)
For now, am going Down Under!
P.s. The night after I wrote that last post did end up being preeeeeeeeeetty long! I slept badly and woke up at 1am, 3am and then at 5:45am which was just as well as the results were released around 5am! I looked at my phone, ready to again be disappointed that nothing had come through, but saw a Whatsapp message from a friend saying something along the lines of "phew". I thought "argh!", checked my inbox and there were those four glorious letters. Not f-a-i-l, but p-a-s-s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This week with my grandparents has once again flown by (clearly we've been having too much fun!) but I'll see them soon enough at my pre-graduation ceremony back home in June :)
For now, am going Down Under!
P.s. The night after I wrote that last post did end up being preeeeeeeeeetty long! I slept badly and woke up at 1am, 3am and then at 5:45am which was just as well as the results were released around 5am! I looked at my phone, ready to again be disappointed that nothing had come through, but saw a Whatsapp message from a friend saying something along the lines of "phew". I thought "argh!", checked my inbox and there were those four glorious letters. Not f-a-i-l, but p-a-s-s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, 10 April 2014
The longest night of my life?
...Is probably tonight! In a few hours I find out whether or not I managed to prove that after six (sometimes happy, sometimes less so!) years I have accumulated enough knowledge to be bestowed the priviledge of being a junior doctor.
One hopes that one has, but there is always that element of doubt...
I am sure that my entire year group, despite being scattered across the world, is feeling the same way. We ended our last exam just about a week ago and have since embarked on our "electives" = 2.5 months to gather experience in any healthcare system you wish. There is also some time to relax :) and so currently I am with my grandparents in Calgary, West Canada.
Though I only had three short days to sort out my life (!) after my last exam and coming here (I had essentially been a hermit for about 2 months), as soon as I hopped on the plane I felt completely relaxed. That feeling of not having deadlines, endless to do lists, a slither of stress in every footstep... Basically that everyday life that we carve for ourselves, is the feeling I seem to endlessly crave and one which only when I am "on holiday" do I truly remember exists. The best medicine for any illness :)
The funny thing was on the plane I was reflecting on the first time I had travelled alone on a flight, pretty much exactly 6 years previously on my gap year. That time, I had just embarked and probably within about 10 minutes burst into tears (much to the dismay of the lady next to me.) Whilst I was certain I wanted to "travel", all of a sudden I had realised how many unknowns lay ahead of me that I hadn't really thought through... Would my travel buddy really meet me at the other side? How was I going to eat when I didn't really know how to cook? What if I fall ill? Small, silly things that seemed perfectly sensible doubts then! I laughed at myself when I recalled my fears. Now I almost relish
those unknowns... And the exciting encounters and experiences that come with the unknowns.
For example, going back six years again, you'll be glad to know, I did stop crying once I became engrossed in a film I decided to watch to distract myself. At the end of it, I plucked up the courage to talk to my neighbour, who turned out to be a cardiologist from Sao Paulo where I was headed. She, very sweetly, denied she had seen me crying when I tried to explain my peculiar behaviour. 4 months later when I transitted via Sao Pulo en the way home, I met with her in SP and she took me to lunch and to see her hospital. It's encounters like that that you never forget :)
In a few days I travel to Sydney to meet with two old friends, and then on to New Zealand and South Africa with my sister (the actual work bit!). Memorable encounters certainly await!
Fingers crossed in a few hours, I am greeted with the news that life's adventures can continue without a hiccup!
One hopes that one has, but there is always that element of doubt...
I am sure that my entire year group, despite being scattered across the world, is feeling the same way. We ended our last exam just about a week ago and have since embarked on our "electives" = 2.5 months to gather experience in any healthcare system you wish. There is also some time to relax :) and so currently I am with my grandparents in Calgary, West Canada.
Though I only had three short days to sort out my life (!) after my last exam and coming here (I had essentially been a hermit for about 2 months), as soon as I hopped on the plane I felt completely relaxed. That feeling of not having deadlines, endless to do lists, a slither of stress in every footstep... Basically that everyday life that we carve for ourselves, is the feeling I seem to endlessly crave and one which only when I am "on holiday" do I truly remember exists. The best medicine for any illness :)
The funny thing was on the plane I was reflecting on the first time I had travelled alone on a flight, pretty much exactly 6 years previously on my gap year. That time, I had just embarked and probably within about 10 minutes burst into tears (much to the dismay of the lady next to me.) Whilst I was certain I wanted to "travel", all of a sudden I had realised how many unknowns lay ahead of me that I hadn't really thought through... Would my travel buddy really meet me at the other side? How was I going to eat when I didn't really know how to cook? What if I fall ill? Small, silly things that seemed perfectly sensible doubts then! I laughed at myself when I recalled my fears. Now I almost relish
those unknowns... And the exciting encounters and experiences that come with the unknowns.
For example, going back six years again, you'll be glad to know, I did stop crying once I became engrossed in a film I decided to watch to distract myself. At the end of it, I plucked up the courage to talk to my neighbour, who turned out to be a cardiologist from Sao Paulo where I was headed. She, very sweetly, denied she had seen me crying when I tried to explain my peculiar behaviour. 4 months later when I transitted via Sao Pulo en the way home, I met with her in SP and she took me to lunch and to see her hospital. It's encounters like that that you never forget :)
In a few days I travel to Sydney to meet with two old friends, and then on to New Zealand and South Africa with my sister (the actual work bit!). Memorable encounters certainly await!
Fingers crossed in a few hours, I am greeted with the news that life's adventures can continue without a hiccup!
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
I'm done!!!!!!!
My last (fingers and toes triply crossed) ever medical school exam was completed today! Feels a bit anti-climactic if I'm honest when after all the hours and hours and hours of reading you do only a tiny fraction comes up, but unfortunately that's just how it works!!
Now I have three lovely days in London to catch up on all the things I've been missing... see all those exhibitions I've been eyeing up, chill with friends, watch a film (!), go sit in a park in the sunshine, read a FICTION book (WHOA) and maybe also start packing my bags....!
Off to to see my wonderful grandparents in Canada first, then Sydney with my old first year roommate (who is now based in Hong Kong) - will also see 3 people there I haven't seen in years(!), then it's New Zealand and South Africa for my "elective" / break I've been waiting for for far too long! So actually I'll plenty of time on planes for reading and watching films, so maybe I should scrap those off my list for now!
Cannot wait. ;)
Now I have three lovely days in London to catch up on all the things I've been missing... see all those exhibitions I've been eyeing up, chill with friends, watch a film (!), go sit in a park in the sunshine, read a FICTION book (WHOA) and maybe also start packing my bags....!
Off to to see my wonderful grandparents in Canada first, then Sydney with my old first year roommate (who is now based in Hong Kong) - will also see 3 people there I haven't seen in years(!), then it's New Zealand and South Africa for my "elective" / break I've been waiting for for far too long! So actually I'll plenty of time on planes for reading and watching films, so maybe I should scrap those off my list for now!
Cannot wait. ;)
Monday, 24 February 2014
The Final Hurdle
To my right lies a book entitled the Final Hurdle - I guess when you're reading that as part of your bedtime reading, this must mean this is the real thing! Our first exam is on Friday and tomorrow marks the start of our last week officially in hospital as "medical students". How funny that my first day as a student in hospital doesn't feel so long ago. And oddly enough, I find myself ending my studies in the hospital where I first discovered the excitement of clinical medicine. (Charing Cross if you must know.)
I would say I haven't hit the stress wall yet. Though I'm sure it's out there waiting for me. I guess when you've sat so many exams eventually you get better at postponing the inevitable meeting with that stress wall...! In fact, I probably sound a bit relaxed! There's little point in burning out though before the finish line ;)
I'm currently sitting on a corner on my bed. I sort of have to because the rest of it is covered in paper, books, stationary, a hairbrush, clothes and oh yes then there's the duvet..! And my room unfortunately mirrors my bed in terms of space : clutter ratio!
I look forward avidly to the afternoon when I can sit here for as long as I want, without feeling guilty, rather than blogging away to Coldplay hoping I'll soon feel sleepy so I don't feel sleepy in tomorrow's fracture clinic where I plan to practice some of my orthopaedic examination techniques. Not that there's anything not fun about blogging and listening to Coldplay ;)
But yes, freedom awaits. The light at the end of the 6-year tunnel :)
Friday, 24 January 2014
New beginnings
I hope 2014 has begun well for you!
Some exciting news - I accepted my first (medical) job offer today, in Edinburgh! And I really can't wait to start... assuming those small exams around the corner go to plan!
It was a funny feeling, finally pressing "accept" on the jobs website.. I had another offer from the South West (of England) but whilst the research interest suited me there, the clinical jobs I was offered were less to my liking. So jobs-wise the choice seemed clear, but when it came to location, I was less certain... Do I want a 4-hour car journey, or a 4-hour trip involving a car, train, plane and probably 2 buses... I deliberated for pretty much the whole 50 hours we were given to come to a decision and even when I thought I had come to a decision, I still deliberated! But if you've met me before, you would know that is a bit à la moi ;)
A part of me flickered at the thought of finally leaving home, leaving family. Anyone reading this would probably think I sound melodramatic! Which of course I am! But despite being somewhat adventure-loving, I've always been a home-loving girl. And thus the stage of life most 18-year olds (or at least 21-year olds) go through for me had only ever been pseudo-moves away... before going on trips abroad... or just to the other side of London where I could easily pop back. So childish 24-year-old me feels like she is growing up!
The nice thing is that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that there really is now a purpose to all the revision: the patients whom I'll be caring for. For example, my first job will be in colorectal surgery which involves looking after patients who have conditions of the big bowels/intestines. This is not really a field I'm interested in at all in the long term, but funnily enough the one I was shadowing in just before Christmas. Back then it was just an experience to learn from.. whereas now I am definitely paying a bit more attention to all the colon-associated paragraphs I'm reading!
So... the very-much-a-London-girl is finally moving on :D
Some exciting news - I accepted my first (medical) job offer today, in Edinburgh! And I really can't wait to start... assuming those small exams around the corner go to plan!
It was a funny feeling, finally pressing "accept" on the jobs website.. I had another offer from the South West (of England) but whilst the research interest suited me there, the clinical jobs I was offered were less to my liking. So jobs-wise the choice seemed clear, but when it came to location, I was less certain... Do I want a 4-hour car journey, or a 4-hour trip involving a car, train, plane and probably 2 buses... I deliberated for pretty much the whole 50 hours we were given to come to a decision and even when I thought I had come to a decision, I still deliberated! But if you've met me before, you would know that is a bit à la moi ;)
A part of me flickered at the thought of finally leaving home, leaving family. Anyone reading this would probably think I sound melodramatic! Which of course I am! But despite being somewhat adventure-loving, I've always been a home-loving girl. And thus the stage of life most 18-year olds (or at least 21-year olds) go through for me had only ever been pseudo-moves away... before going on trips abroad... or just to the other side of London where I could easily pop back. So childish 24-year-old me feels like she is growing up!
The nice thing is that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that there really is now a purpose to all the revision: the patients whom I'll be caring for. For example, my first job will be in colorectal surgery which involves looking after patients who have conditions of the big bowels/intestines. This is not really a field I'm interested in at all in the long term, but funnily enough the one I was shadowing in just before Christmas. Back then it was just an experience to learn from.. whereas now I am definitely paying a bit more attention to all the colon-associated paragraphs I'm reading!
So... the very-much-a-London-girl is finally moving on :D
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| The Shetlands...where the slight love affair with Scotland probably started. Photo by my friend Bron. |
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