Gosh, almost 365 days have gone by since my last post!
A lot has changed in that time. It's funny that reading it now I see actually I was quite quick to realise the challenges that I have faced since then.
I am still in physician training and finally have my full licence to practice in Australia. In fact, I have recently applied for permanent residency. Not everything is sunny side up however!
I struggled to settle in though I have very little I can complain about - a far better work-life balance, generally good weather, a (new) wonderful flatmate and a lovely flat. It is the social aspect though I have found tough, even 15 months since moving.
I had always thought of myself as fairly sociable but perhaps nearing 30 changes your perspectives somewhat when it comes to these things... having read numerous accounts of similar adult encounters I know this is not an infrequent circumstance, but nonetheless that makes it really no less tough. Making friends is for children it sometimes seems!
In September, I visited home and on my return, the first back to Australia where I was not there for the first time in a new place, everything seemed a little different. I was returning to my "new home" but yet it didn't feel like a home really at all. My heart was elsewhere. The following few months were difficult. Though I enjoyed my work and felt I was learning a lot, the shift patterns were tough with a predominance of night shifts for half a year including Christmas. I felt cranky a lot and my poor partner had to suffer my mood swings with me. Luckily, he remains eternally patient.
In April, my grandmother also passed away rather suddenly. We were sadly not close and whilst when the news finally actually hit me I found myself besides myself with tears. Not for my grandma, but for my own mum. To not be able to hug her during her darkest hours to me felt very wrong, and after much persuasion, umming and ahhing I finally got onto a plane to Toronto to meet her. As soon as I saw her smile, I knew it was right to have left. To be with her meant much to me but it also left me with more questions to myself: did I want to be in that situation myself? On the other side of the world when my mum was unwell? It is a question that still sits badly with me.
Luckily, my annual leave came swiftly afterwards and I could rejoin my family in the UK once more for a few weeks. It was wonderful to be with them again in happier circumstances but leaving seemed harder than ever before. On the plus side, workwise I am happy to be working in daylight hours again!
All in all, my life continues to be somewhat good, and somewhat missing and in some ways I think this is the toughest portion I've had to face so far. I guess you cannot prepare yourself for every situation...
Ahead of me lie exams, visas, and who knows what else?
I however know I must be extremely remain grateful for what has been brought to me: life + laughter x love. Que será, será!
Showing posts with label Muse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muse. Show all posts
Saturday, 2 June 2018
Tuesday, 13 June 2017
9 months Down Under
Over half a year ago has swung by since my last post and I find myself writing this from Melbourne… a lot has changed!
I had a wonderful 5 months in Brisbane and made some great friends - ones that at the time I don't think I realised how lucky I was to have. I had settled in pretty instantly and the only tiny thing I could complain about was the crazy Queensland weather. It was almost impossibly hot in the summer! Workwise I began to get to grips with Australian healthcare and learn the differences… from the dosage of Aspirin (75mg) to the non-existence of cyclizine (whaaat?!) to the regular usage of VBGs rather than ABGs (again whaaaat?!?!) Another big factor was the existence of private healthcare - yes it's great when you can free up a bed but it's actually a lot of hassle to get a private facility to accept your patient! Disjointed care also makes records extremely hard to keep accurate… there are always pluses and minuses I guess!
Whilst I didn't love being an orthopaedic ward monkey for the initial 6 weeks I was fortunate enough to work with some wonderful colleagues who really did their best to help me settle in and answer my cultural questions…"what does too easy mean?!". The crazy work hours were offset by coffee breaks in what I'm sure will be the snazziest doctors' lounge I will ever see, and by the kindness of colleagues and patients. Like the first I saw on day one "you're a pommy too!" to the countless ones I saw in outpatients who would put up with the long pauses whilst we waited to confirm plans with the registrars!
Moving on to the ED was an excellent learning curve for me. Having never worked in emergency I relished being the first to take a history, stitch the occasional laceration and help in resus. The shift work was tiring - sometimes I would even go to badminton after a nightshift - sleeping in 30degree + heat was impossible anyway! - but the learning was great. I loved it but don't think in the long run I could hack that lifestyle! The dept was also brimming with British ED trainees who had clearly made an easy decision to swap NHS A&E for Aussie well-staffed ED that even sometimes had an empty waiting room would you believe?!
Then in December came a surprise stroke of luck. One of the hospitals I had previously been in contact with in Melbourne told me they had medical training positions (like CMT) that I was eligible to apply for. After a telephone interview and a bit of kerfuffle as I needed to be "released" from a contract I had already signed with an ED department in suburban Victoria I rejigged my plans to work at the Austin/Northern Hospitals as a medical trainee. Swanky as!
In January my contract in Brisbane ended and I popped back home to cool down for a few weeks…
In that time (it feels like ages ago now) I caught up with friends and family - I guess it felt like I had just been on a holiday! I also interviewed for jobs at home since I had applied back in November with no intention of taking anything I was offered. It was a good experience nonetheless and I'm grateful to those who pushed me to go. I did get a post in London but knew immediately I wouldn't take it what with the training post in Melbourne.
In February I moved to Melbourne - the world's so called most liveable city and one I had instantly fallen in love with the last time I had been… whilst as a final year student en route to my elective in NZ. It's funny though, as soon as I landed I felt a bit of an emptiness. There was much more adjusting than I had expected although really Melbourne is far closer to a European lifestyle I think than Brisbane. I had a new flatmate, a new flat, had to find a car, (luckily a friend's friends were selling!) as well as the new job. The job I think was the biggest issue... to make it really difficult my first post involved working in different wards pretty much every 1 - 3 weeks and across 3 different sites. Working with so many different people and different environments was a challenge though I found colleagues on the whole to be more accommodating / less surprised at my accent than in Queensland.
Now into my 2nd "term" I am finally au fait with the computer system, how to get about without googlemaps and how to page without annoying people… this Friday I have to present for the first time here and I think though I loathe presenting, it'll be good for me.
My Mum and my sis actually just left 3 days ago. We had two weeks together whilst I was on annual leave and it was only when they left I suddenly realised how much I will always miss them if I'm here. There are many perks to being on this sunny continent, and now that I have met someone here also it makes it all the more difficult to try to work out what and where the future holds… but as always only time knows the answers!
I had a wonderful 5 months in Brisbane and made some great friends - ones that at the time I don't think I realised how lucky I was to have. I had settled in pretty instantly and the only tiny thing I could complain about was the crazy Queensland weather. It was almost impossibly hot in the summer! Workwise I began to get to grips with Australian healthcare and learn the differences… from the dosage of Aspirin (75mg) to the non-existence of cyclizine (whaaat?!) to the regular usage of VBGs rather than ABGs (again whaaaat?!?!) Another big factor was the existence of private healthcare - yes it's great when you can free up a bed but it's actually a lot of hassle to get a private facility to accept your patient! Disjointed care also makes records extremely hard to keep accurate… there are always pluses and minuses I guess!
Whilst I didn't love being an orthopaedic ward monkey for the initial 6 weeks I was fortunate enough to work with some wonderful colleagues who really did their best to help me settle in and answer my cultural questions…"what does too easy mean?!". The crazy work hours were offset by coffee breaks in what I'm sure will be the snazziest doctors' lounge I will ever see, and by the kindness of colleagues and patients. Like the first I saw on day one "you're a pommy too!" to the countless ones I saw in outpatients who would put up with the long pauses whilst we waited to confirm plans with the registrars!
Moving on to the ED was an excellent learning curve for me. Having never worked in emergency I relished being the first to take a history, stitch the occasional laceration and help in resus. The shift work was tiring - sometimes I would even go to badminton after a nightshift - sleeping in 30degree + heat was impossible anyway! - but the learning was great. I loved it but don't think in the long run I could hack that lifestyle! The dept was also brimming with British ED trainees who had clearly made an easy decision to swap NHS A&E for Aussie well-staffed ED that even sometimes had an empty waiting room would you believe?!
Then in December came a surprise stroke of luck. One of the hospitals I had previously been in contact with in Melbourne told me they had medical training positions (like CMT) that I was eligible to apply for. After a telephone interview and a bit of kerfuffle as I needed to be "released" from a contract I had already signed with an ED department in suburban Victoria I rejigged my plans to work at the Austin/Northern Hospitals as a medical trainee. Swanky as!
In January my contract in Brisbane ended and I popped back home to cool down for a few weeks…
In that time (it feels like ages ago now) I caught up with friends and family - I guess it felt like I had just been on a holiday! I also interviewed for jobs at home since I had applied back in November with no intention of taking anything I was offered. It was a good experience nonetheless and I'm grateful to those who pushed me to go. I did get a post in London but knew immediately I wouldn't take it what with the training post in Melbourne.
In February I moved to Melbourne - the world's so called most liveable city and one I had instantly fallen in love with the last time I had been… whilst as a final year student en route to my elective in NZ. It's funny though, as soon as I landed I felt a bit of an emptiness. There was much more adjusting than I had expected although really Melbourne is far closer to a European lifestyle I think than Brisbane. I had a new flatmate, a new flat, had to find a car, (luckily a friend's friends were selling!) as well as the new job. The job I think was the biggest issue... to make it really difficult my first post involved working in different wards pretty much every 1 - 3 weeks and across 3 different sites. Working with so many different people and different environments was a challenge though I found colleagues on the whole to be more accommodating / less surprised at my accent than in Queensland.
Now into my 2nd "term" I am finally au fait with the computer system, how to get about without googlemaps and how to page without annoying people… this Friday I have to present for the first time here and I think though I loathe presenting, it'll be good for me.
My Mum and my sis actually just left 3 days ago. We had two weeks together whilst I was on annual leave and it was only when they left I suddenly realised how much I will always miss them if I'm here. There are many perks to being on this sunny continent, and now that I have met someone here also it makes it all the more difficult to try to work out what and where the future holds… but as always only time knows the answers!
Wednesday, 21 September 2016
Brisbane, Australia!
Hello from Down Under!
It's only my 5th day here but my life has changed so much in that time... in a good and exciting way :) New friends, new flat (moving in this wkend!), new job, and a totally new way of life!
Every night I keep thinking I should pen down daily the new things I've seen and the surprises I've experienced but then seem to run out of time ...so here are my top 8!
1) From the moment I landed I've been touched by how friendly everyone is here. My airbnb hosts came to pick me up from the airport at 2230 despite starting work the next day at 0700... the supermarket lady taught me to how to use the buses... to my patients who tell me "Alex, you'll stay". Also no one in hospital gives you any hassle for referring or requesting. I mean it's their job no? The pharmacist actually said to me "don't feel you need to look after everything. There are separate teams for that."
2) Australian wildlife is as wild as it gets... a few examples:
Every morning at dawn I wake up to the raucous cries of birds. It feels like you're in a rainforest!
I'm also used to the sound of cats running on the roof - actually the sound of possums scurrying. Oh and random insects/spiders everywhere. Thankfully no tarantulas yet.
The ibis (a bird! That's what the hotel chain is named after - nope I didn't know that either) is also crazy. One stole my lunch on day one. Google image them - they look like they're from the jurassic era and are as common here as pidgeons in central London.
Oh and wild "bush turkeys" roam the streets. Google image them too. They look so important!
3) The Aussies are so. laid. back.
It's almost like time has another meaning! They also love to chat and joke. Even at work. To the point where I admit it irritated me beyond belief on my first day at work but it does make the work environment seem extremely relaxed! I think I just need to adjust!
4) They love organic. Anything that can be organic should be organic it would seem.
5) Brits are everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. Two of my patients told me I must be from London just today!
6) Stuff is expensive. Who charges £3 for a pouch of instant noodles? The Aussies.
7) Brisbane is a rise and sleep early kind of city (due to the heat). My present job starts at 0630! The concept seemed initially crazy but I'm already kind of used to it and actually quite like it that way. It makes sense to utilise daylight! Also it means you have so much more time in the hospital day... e.g. if the patient is aiming to leave at 10am, you have 3 hours (rather than <1) to sort it all out! Plus if I ended on time (more on that another time) I would technically have a whole half day to do whatever I pleased!
8) There are so many words (and drug names) that are different here. My favourite example is Pom which means a Brit. Sounds like a bad word right?! But kind of cute. Like half a pom pom.
Overall it's really great. Whilst I do miss my family and friends, I love the people, the weather (that may change in the summer), the attitude (can do), the lifestyle... Sounds dangerously good and it is!!
Planning to commence a new blog for this year soon. Watch this space! :D
It's only my 5th day here but my life has changed so much in that time... in a good and exciting way :) New friends, new flat (moving in this wkend!), new job, and a totally new way of life!
Every night I keep thinking I should pen down daily the new things I've seen and the surprises I've experienced but then seem to run out of time ...so here are my top 8!
1) From the moment I landed I've been touched by how friendly everyone is here. My airbnb hosts came to pick me up from the airport at 2230 despite starting work the next day at 0700... the supermarket lady taught me to how to use the buses... to my patients who tell me "Alex, you'll stay". Also no one in hospital gives you any hassle for referring or requesting. I mean it's their job no? The pharmacist actually said to me "don't feel you need to look after everything. There are separate teams for that."
2) Australian wildlife is as wild as it gets... a few examples:
Every morning at dawn I wake up to the raucous cries of birds. It feels like you're in a rainforest!
I'm also used to the sound of cats running on the roof - actually the sound of possums scurrying. Oh and random insects/spiders everywhere. Thankfully no tarantulas yet.
The ibis (a bird! That's what the hotel chain is named after - nope I didn't know that either) is also crazy. One stole my lunch on day one. Google image them - they look like they're from the jurassic era and are as common here as pidgeons in central London.
Oh and wild "bush turkeys" roam the streets. Google image them too. They look so important!
3) The Aussies are so. laid. back.
It's almost like time has another meaning! They also love to chat and joke. Even at work. To the point where I admit it irritated me beyond belief on my first day at work but it does make the work environment seem extremely relaxed! I think I just need to adjust!
4) They love organic. Anything that can be organic should be organic it would seem.
5) Brits are everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. Two of my patients told me I must be from London just today!
6) Stuff is expensive. Who charges £3 for a pouch of instant noodles? The Aussies.
7) Brisbane is a rise and sleep early kind of city (due to the heat). My present job starts at 0630! The concept seemed initially crazy but I'm already kind of used to it and actually quite like it that way. It makes sense to utilise daylight! Also it means you have so much more time in the hospital day... e.g. if the patient is aiming to leave at 10am, you have 3 hours (rather than <1) to sort it all out! Plus if I ended on time (more on that another time) I would technically have a whole half day to do whatever I pleased!
8) There are so many words (and drug names) that are different here. My favourite example is Pom which means a Brit. Sounds like a bad word right?! But kind of cute. Like half a pom pom.
Overall it's really great. Whilst I do miss my family and friends, I love the people, the weather (that may change in the summer), the attitude (can do), the lifestyle... Sounds dangerously good and it is!!
Planning to commence a new blog for this year soon. Watch this space! :D
Friday, 9 September 2016
London at its best
This last week has reminded me of what an amazing place London is and how lucky we are to call her our hometown! I love that everything is always continually changing - I'm sure you could easily fill 365 days with entirely new activities every day. Since I have a rare full week just to enjoy life/not be at work I've been trying to make the most of it!
My 3 highlights of this week have been:
1) Aladdin the musical (oh my goodness go see it! Check out dayseat.com for how to enter their daily ticket draw if you're feeling lucky),
2) The ingenious Orbit Slide at the Olympic Park (30 seconds of super fast, super scary sliding time! £15 but £3 more gets you an annual pass - great for visitors and locals!) And lastly;
3) Kanada-Ya in Soho for ramen so good even Japanese folk seem not to mind queueing for it!
4 days til the big flight! That suitcase is still looking pretty empty though..!
My 3 highlights of this week have been:
1) Aladdin the musical (oh my goodness go see it! Check out dayseat.com for how to enter their daily ticket draw if you're feeling lucky),
2) The ingenious Orbit Slide at the Olympic Park (30 seconds of super fast, super scary sliding time! £15 but £3 more gets you an annual pass - great for visitors and locals!) And lastly;
3) Kanada-Ya in Soho for ramen so good even Japanese folk seem not to mind queueing for it!
4 days til the big flight! That suitcase is still looking pretty empty though..!
Monday, 5 September 2016
The Countdown
The packing has slowly started, I'm pleased to report! I keep thinking of new "must do's" however before I leave in exactly a week's time... Wish me luck!
Friday, 2 September 2016
F2 to F3
Well for the first time since leaving University I finally had total freedom for 6 weeks and what I did I do with it? Pack it full of course! But as much as I like to complain that is of course the way I secretly like it.
Post Mull, I worked in a small DGH acute medical unit as a locum (temporary doctor). It was pretty eye-opening having never been a locum myself. The unit were clearly having staffing issues with most of those there from various agencies.
Most of the locums were in a similar position to myself- on an "F3" aka the medical gap year. Some were more senior though and I soon realised these were not doctors in ever intended to go into training. Quite the opposite. I was frankly a bit appalled by (not all) but some of their lazy behaviours. Despite being paid a premium they clearly worked inefficiently and knowingly so. It was like meeting the antithesis of every medical students' idol. They weren't bad people (one could argue) but they were certainly bad doctors. I was encouraged however that the permanent members of staff, though clearly working in less than adequate conditions, strived to do their best and tried not to allow the daily staffing issues take away their smiles and admirable bedside manner. I was also moved by my fellow compatriots - we each were caring for probably more patients than we ever had done, doused with extra responsibilities in a unit unfamiliar to us, but despite this they would offer to help me and answer my endless questions about the computer system, and likewise I would chip in what I could. The camaraderie was palpable.
And whilst one day in particular will stick in my mind - a no lunch, no time to go to the bathroom sort of day - ultimately no matter the stresses, I found my love for medicine rekindled once more. No matter how bad the day is I can't deny the exhilaration felt when you correctly diagnose and treat a problem, and in some small way help someone through a difficult time in their life. Every down has twice the ups. And so despite me thinking quite certainly I was going to be a GP... I've now realised that I must spend at least some more time in hospital post Australia! Life can be funny like that.
Other than that I've done some teaching, finished off some research recruitment (woo!) and have been to Canada to see my family - a trip that turned out to be unexpectedly personally and culturally important but that I won't bore you with. I've also set up an Australian bank account, booked accommodation, arranged meet ups with everyone I care about and that leaves me just under 2 weeks until I head Down Under. Time to start thinking about packing... maybe :P
Tuesday, 9 August 2016
Time to move on
I'm sad to say this time tomorrow I'll no longer be an Edinburgh-er :(
Exactly a week ago I ended my FY2 year on nights; I practically ran out of the hospital! After a flurry of packing, a spot of brunch followed by a spot of teaching final year students, I headed to Glasgow to meet my family.
We spent a night at my parents' favourite place in the village of Luss on Loch Lomond before heading out to the Isle of Mull (part of the inner Hebrides) for the week. Though the weather was mostly grey the house we stayed in was in a spectacular setting. Each drive in and out included a battle via Highland cows and we received a daily show of deer grazing whilst we ate our own dinner.
Throughout the week we did a few small walks and grew accustomed to seeking out local produce that we would fashion into elaborate surf and turf meals in the huge and wonderfully equipped kitchen. We also took a boat tour out to the Isles of Staffa and Lunga where we saw Fingal's cave and puffins on, respectively.
Fingal's cave for me was a personal highlight. It's here that inspired Mendelssohn's Hebridean Overture. I had first read about this place in year 8 geography and had vowed to visit when I knew I would be living in Scotland. It was as impressive as I had imagined though of course I had seen plenty of spoiler photos! Lunga was also fascinating. Who knew puffins could be so cute?! Almost as cute as penguins... whom funnily enough share similar behaviour by fishing during the daytime and returning to burrows after hunting.
Now I'm back to Edinburgh enjoying a few last moments of the Fringe with friends, and I feel totally relaxed. This morning I felt ready to work so it was strange not having work to go to! In 5 days though I'll be starting a stint "down South". We just can't stay away...!
Exactly a week ago I ended my FY2 year on nights; I practically ran out of the hospital! After a flurry of packing, a spot of brunch followed by a spot of teaching final year students, I headed to Glasgow to meet my family.
We spent a night at my parents' favourite place in the village of Luss on Loch Lomond before heading out to the Isle of Mull (part of the inner Hebrides) for the week. Though the weather was mostly grey the house we stayed in was in a spectacular setting. Each drive in and out included a battle via Highland cows and we received a daily show of deer grazing whilst we ate our own dinner.
Throughout the week we did a few small walks and grew accustomed to seeking out local produce that we would fashion into elaborate surf and turf meals in the huge and wonderfully equipped kitchen. We also took a boat tour out to the Isles of Staffa and Lunga where we saw Fingal's cave and puffins on, respectively.
Fingal's cave for me was a personal highlight. It's here that inspired Mendelssohn's Hebridean Overture. I had first read about this place in year 8 geography and had vowed to visit when I knew I would be living in Scotland. It was as impressive as I had imagined though of course I had seen plenty of spoiler photos! Lunga was also fascinating. Who knew puffins could be so cute?! Almost as cute as penguins... whom funnily enough share similar behaviour by fishing during the daytime and returning to burrows after hunting.
Now I'm back to Edinburgh enjoying a few last moments of the Fringe with friends, and I feel totally relaxed. This morning I felt ready to work so it was strange not having work to go to! In 5 days though I'll be starting a stint "down South". We just can't stay away...!
Saturday, 16 July 2016
An inbetweener
Well in 2 months I'll be on the opposite side of the world! 2 years has quickly condensed to 2 weeks and I find myself desperate to enjoy every last minute of living in Edinburgh. I never realised how attached one/I could feel to a place and I know (cringe curtains at the ready!) here will always hold a special place in my heart. The people here are much warmer than those I grew up around - they look out for you, even if you might never have met before, and help you out where they can. The scenery continues to stun me (especially when the sunshine graces us with occasional rays!) and the variety of activities I've tried/learnt on Edinburgh's doorstep continue to surprise me: from climbing a munroe or two on a weekend, to slipping your feet into wet sand after work or fishing in a loch just because you can! I've also met life long friends who I have literally experienced blood, sweat and tears with, and that can only make your bonds stronger ;)
This week was one of a little upheaval. I moved towards the north east end of the city near the Shore with a university friend. We are close but funnily enough until I moved in I don't think I appreciated how close! The first morning I woke to a feeling of "where am I?!" and had to be reminded by the seagull squawks of the day's previous motions. My new route to work is a 45minute walk through some of the most beautiful parts of the city (Princes Street, the Royal Mile & the Meadows) and I love it. On night three I stayed up until 2330 to have an interview with a hospital in Melbourne and found out immediately I could have a post in February! I was ecstatic. Since then my sleeping pattern has been erratic so I allowed myself to catch up a bit today before meeting with my closest Edinburgh friends for a meal at the Kitchin. A michelin starred yet homey and super Scottish restaurant now 10 minutes from where I live. Very dangerous! It was delightful and yes I realise how tough I'm making life sound!
Tomorrow endeth the week and we're going fishing in the countryside. I'm hoping for a fish supper! ;)
Then there'll be 2 weeks of solid-ish working following by a few weeks of solid-ish non-working!! Then the much big-ger move to Brisbane (& now Melbourne). I'm sure there'll be a move back to bonnie Edinburgh one day though... One day :)
This week was one of a little upheaval. I moved towards the north east end of the city near the Shore with a university friend. We are close but funnily enough until I moved in I don't think I appreciated how close! The first morning I woke to a feeling of "where am I?!" and had to be reminded by the seagull squawks of the day's previous motions. My new route to work is a 45minute walk through some of the most beautiful parts of the city (Princes Street, the Royal Mile & the Meadows) and I love it. On night three I stayed up until 2330 to have an interview with a hospital in Melbourne and found out immediately I could have a post in February! I was ecstatic. Since then my sleeping pattern has been erratic so I allowed myself to catch up a bit today before meeting with my closest Edinburgh friends for a meal at the Kitchin. A michelin starred yet homey and super Scottish restaurant now 10 minutes from where I live. Very dangerous! It was delightful and yes I realise how tough I'm making life sound!
Tomorrow endeth the week and we're going fishing in the countryside. I'm hoping for a fish supper! ;)
Then there'll be 2 weeks of solid-ish working following by a few weeks of solid-ish non-working!! Then the much big-ger move to Brisbane (& now Melbourne). I'm sure there'll be a move back to bonnie Edinburgh one day though... One day :)
Saturday, 5 March 2016
March-ing on
Finally spring is in the air! It's still single digit weather of course but one can't complain about everything! Since last writing, my poor car has had it's driver door blown off what I can only describe as hopefully the closest thing to a hurricane I'll ever experience; there is a new door in it's place however :)
I've also been back to the Shetlands, specifically Unst, where I had been in my final year on GP placement. Nothing much has changed and the ponies are as cute as I remember! This time, the trip coincided with Up Helly Aa - the annual Viking fire festival celebrated all around Shetland. It was quite spectacle.
In other news, there are four weeks left of my current post (is it bad that I'm counting down?) and then it's into paediatrics! And then.. who knows!
Sunday, 17 January 2016
January blues
January is never a wonderful month but I can't ever remember it being quite so draining... since I last wrote I completed my renal block (transplant turned out to be super interesting!), passed my first postgrad exam (phew!), went to Taiwan/HK/Japan (and already have plans to go back!), enjoyed a family home Christmas but now find myself at the end of a week off with that familiar feeling of "please don't make me go back to work"!
I won't bore you with the whys except to say that service provision has been deemed unsurprisingly, more important that our training.. which currently makes my day job extremely frustrating. I still love the medicine - the interesting cases and the complex scenarios we face and learn from everyday, but it is certainly the first post in which I have felt that love dented somewhat. I'm sure it's a feeling that has been felt by many and will sadly loom again, but one can keep wishing...
Off the wards, many of my colleagues are now preparing for interviews for their further training. I on the other hand, like 48% of my year, opted not to apply this year. If one thing never changes, it's how indecisive I am! In the end I couldn't decide on neither specialty nor location so opted for the 2nd gap yah and can't wait. One thing I hadn't pre-empted however was the amount of uncertainty that followed once I had thought I had already dodged plenty of it!
Currently I hope to move home for some time to work temporarily there to get a feel for what it is like (plus finish a Masters) before ideally travelling to Patagonia (a place on my bucket list since I was in fact a stone's throw from it in 2008 but not well equipped enough to venture in) and then moving on to work/play in Australia/New Zealand... if they'll have me!
If all goes to plan, who knows where I'll be in January next year...? ;)
I won't bore you with the whys except to say that service provision has been deemed unsurprisingly, more important that our training.. which currently makes my day job extremely frustrating. I still love the medicine - the interesting cases and the complex scenarios we face and learn from everyday, but it is certainly the first post in which I have felt that love dented somewhat. I'm sure it's a feeling that has been felt by many and will sadly loom again, but one can keep wishing...
Off the wards, many of my colleagues are now preparing for interviews for their further training. I on the other hand, like 48% of my year, opted not to apply this year. If one thing never changes, it's how indecisive I am! In the end I couldn't decide on neither specialty nor location so opted for the 2nd gap yah and can't wait. One thing I hadn't pre-empted however was the amount of uncertainty that followed once I had thought I had already dodged plenty of it!
Currently I hope to move home for some time to work temporarily there to get a feel for what it is like (plus finish a Masters) before ideally travelling to Patagonia (a place on my bucket list since I was in fact a stone's throw from it in 2008 but not well equipped enough to venture in) and then moving on to work/play in Australia/New Zealand... if they'll have me!
If all goes to plan, who knows where I'll be in January next year...? ;)
Wednesday, 16 September 2015
A one year old dr
So it's 16th Sept soon to be 17th Sept 2015 and I have made it through now almost the first 2 months of Fy2! Initially it was odd, extremely odd, to sign "my name, F2" and answer the phone with "Hello, renal transplant SHO". That's right kidneys and transplants! Never quite saw that one coming.
Day one of being an F2 was quite a blur. A blur of acronyms, mainly. The whole ward round seemed to be spoken in code that only the medical and surgical consultant seemed to fully understand. Suffice to say it took about a week for me to learn to speak it, albeit perhaps a bit more simply!
So that month I spent most of my waking hours in the hospital. Our ward rounds started sharply at 0830 and my registrar made it very clear when I started that I must be in at 0800 to ensure that meeting did indeed start smoothly at 0830. Most days were very busy but I loved the buzz and learning new things everyday. My team were also very friendly and supportive and didn't make me feel silly for asking my continual host of questions!
After 5 weeks I was granted my week of annual leave in which I took my first postgraduate exam. Although I felt underprepared, it had been good opportunity to get back into my books which I surprisingly enjoyed. You forget in a way how much you've forgotten!
So I have now switched onto the chronic and acute renal team (we each take just a month's block on transplant) which is much calmer however I find myself back to square one, this time learning how to write dialysis scripts, and deal the other host of issues renal medicine can lead to.
All in all though, and slightly to my surprise, my love for medicine has definitely been rekindled and I find myself again feeling very uncertain where life might take me. Not in a nervous but more a factual way. Today came the news also that the British government have ruled an effectively 20% pay cut will affect juniors in England from next August... as if the bullet point pro-list for me staying in Scotland didn't need to be any longer!
At this moment in time I am also two nights away from my first medical SHO night shifts - my first now since the start of the year - in fact it was the night of the 1st January - so I hope I'll be able to stay up! I remember being delighted that I would have 8 months free of nights.. time continues to zoom by me!
Day one of being an F2 was quite a blur. A blur of acronyms, mainly. The whole ward round seemed to be spoken in code that only the medical and surgical consultant seemed to fully understand. Suffice to say it took about a week for me to learn to speak it, albeit perhaps a bit more simply!
So that month I spent most of my waking hours in the hospital. Our ward rounds started sharply at 0830 and my registrar made it very clear when I started that I must be in at 0800 to ensure that meeting did indeed start smoothly at 0830. Most days were very busy but I loved the buzz and learning new things everyday. My team were also very friendly and supportive and didn't make me feel silly for asking my continual host of questions!
After 5 weeks I was granted my week of annual leave in which I took my first postgraduate exam. Although I felt underprepared, it had been good opportunity to get back into my books which I surprisingly enjoyed. You forget in a way how much you've forgotten!
So I have now switched onto the chronic and acute renal team (we each take just a month's block on transplant) which is much calmer however I find myself back to square one, this time learning how to write dialysis scripts, and deal the other host of issues renal medicine can lead to.
All in all though, and slightly to my surprise, my love for medicine has definitely been rekindled and I find myself again feeling very uncertain where life might take me. Not in a nervous but more a factual way. Today came the news also that the British government have ruled an effectively 20% pay cut will affect juniors in England from next August... as if the bullet point pro-list for me staying in Scotland didn't need to be any longer!
At this moment in time I am also two nights away from my first medical SHO night shifts - my first now since the start of the year - in fact it was the night of the 1st January - so I hope I'll be able to stay up! I remember being delighted that I would have 8 months free of nights.. time continues to zoom by me!
Sunday, 19 July 2015
iminworkjeremy
Tomorrow will be day 8 of my first and only 12 day run. From August working more than 7 days in a row will be illegal, hurrah!
So far, it's going ?okay I think!
I'm alive anyway, just about.
Today was an atypical day. I was lucky, we had a weekend phlebotomist, which meant a lot of time saved rather than me taking 10 people's bloods after the ward round. My registrar was also extremely efficient but also thorough - everything you want in your senior!
We finished seeing everyone by 2pm. Later in the afternoon I had to update a family on their poorly family member. Usually this is the sort of conversation you dread on a weekend, as it often a patient whom you've only met once or twice. In the case however I knew this lady. I had seen her on admission albeit one month ago. I filled with dread however when I saw how sleepy and muddled she was today. Her deterioration was clear and I feared the worst. I met with the family - they recognised me as I had previously given them bad news! Not really a reason you want people to remember you. On the whole they took the news well, though her son, who last time had initially reacted angrily broke into tears. I could see he had slowly come to accept her fate. All the same, it was a difficult scene to watch and be a part of and I myself couldn't help but get a bit upset. You always feel for your patients, and especially so when they are so kind to others.
Half an hour later I found myself caught in another conversation. This time difficult for different reasons. The friend of a patient who was shall we say abnormally involved in her care pressed as to why she hadn't been consulted. It's difficult to say "because it's not your business" politely however much you sugar coat it! Our discussion - mainly her ranting - left me disheartened. Sometimes you try your best for your patient, and even then you can't please everyone.
Things calmed down, then in evening I started checking in on those patients we had been "keeping an eye on". One of them was very drowsy - she had been earlier and we had commenced intravenous antibiotics to help fight what we thought was a hospital acquired pneumonia. I didn't like that she still remained drowsy. Again, I updated her family, and they were very grateful. A friend of mine wisely said he felt 90% of complaints in hospital come from miscommunication or lack or, and he's not wrong.
The patient perked up a little, actually whilst the family were there, and I relaxed. When they left, I checked her again. Drowsy. I felt an unease. Did she really have a pneumonia or had we totally missed something? It was time for me to handover but again someone wise once said if you won't be able to get to sleep thinking about something, sort it out. I went back and examined again. I made a new plan, sent off extra bloods, arranged a further XR and asked to nurse to try a few things. I went back one last time and finally went to handover. Tomorrow I'll find out if any of my inklings were right.
Overall just another day as an F1 (soon to be a baby F2!) but another huge learning curve and a sizeable host of situations I hadn't been in before to learn during and from.
Some words that will remain with me from today... "I wouldn't want your job" (dying patient's family) and "you've been delightful" (complaining family member) and even from a (mildly confused) patient "I love you to bits".
Ah the highs and low of being a doctor.
Ps Hurry up and do some work Jeremy. PLEASE.
So far, it's going ?okay I think!
I'm alive anyway, just about.
Today was an atypical day. I was lucky, we had a weekend phlebotomist, which meant a lot of time saved rather than me taking 10 people's bloods after the ward round. My registrar was also extremely efficient but also thorough - everything you want in your senior!
We finished seeing everyone by 2pm. Later in the afternoon I had to update a family on their poorly family member. Usually this is the sort of conversation you dread on a weekend, as it often a patient whom you've only met once or twice. In the case however I knew this lady. I had seen her on admission albeit one month ago. I filled with dread however when I saw how sleepy and muddled she was today. Her deterioration was clear and I feared the worst. I met with the family - they recognised me as I had previously given them bad news! Not really a reason you want people to remember you. On the whole they took the news well, though her son, who last time had initially reacted angrily broke into tears. I could see he had slowly come to accept her fate. All the same, it was a difficult scene to watch and be a part of and I myself couldn't help but get a bit upset. You always feel for your patients, and especially so when they are so kind to others.
Half an hour later I found myself caught in another conversation. This time difficult for different reasons. The friend of a patient who was shall we say abnormally involved in her care pressed as to why she hadn't been consulted. It's difficult to say "because it's not your business" politely however much you sugar coat it! Our discussion - mainly her ranting - left me disheartened. Sometimes you try your best for your patient, and even then you can't please everyone.
Things calmed down, then in evening I started checking in on those patients we had been "keeping an eye on". One of them was very drowsy - she had been earlier and we had commenced intravenous antibiotics to help fight what we thought was a hospital acquired pneumonia. I didn't like that she still remained drowsy. Again, I updated her family, and they were very grateful. A friend of mine wisely said he felt 90% of complaints in hospital come from miscommunication or lack or, and he's not wrong.
The patient perked up a little, actually whilst the family were there, and I relaxed. When they left, I checked her again. Drowsy. I felt an unease. Did she really have a pneumonia or had we totally missed something? It was time for me to handover but again someone wise once said if you won't be able to get to sleep thinking about something, sort it out. I went back and examined again. I made a new plan, sent off extra bloods, arranged a further XR and asked to nurse to try a few things. I went back one last time and finally went to handover. Tomorrow I'll find out if any of my inklings were right.
Overall just another day as an F1 (soon to be a baby F2!) but another huge learning curve and a sizeable host of situations I hadn't been in before to learn during and from.
Some words that will remain with me from today... "I wouldn't want your job" (dying patient's family) and "you've been delightful" (complaining family member) and even from a (mildly confused) patient "I love you to bits".
Ah the highs and low of being a doctor.
Ps Hurry up and do some work Jeremy. PLEASE.
Tuesday, 23 December 2014
It's that time of year again :)
Yes, it's Christmas.
I'm now in my second post as a junior doctor, working at a district general in what really can only be described as the Scottish countryside. It is nice, very different to my old job. The pace is certainly slower and in part that is because of the speciality, and in part because of the hospital and the general atmosphere in which people work. People have time for you. Time to be nice and smile and generally try to help one another. So overall I feel the support is very "overt" unlike my last place of work. However, and there is a but of course! I actually really miss my old job... Not the hours, and not the fact that my job quickly became my entire existence except when I had days off in lieu of the really rather insane hours we were working. When I think about it now, sometimes it almost seems like maybe it didn't really happen, it was so bad! But I have known for some time, I'm generally a very impatient person. And therefore breaks, and having time to mill around during the day do not mix as well with my personality as I thought they might. Not that I prefer a break-less day!
I digress.
So I'm now actually already back from the countryside for my 10-day-probably-once-in-my-career-Christmas-break! Today was spent preparing our Christmas meal - slow roasted lamb with slow roasted veg, followed by a delectable pavlova and washed down with wine, port and stilton. My contribution was three types of home made mince pies for before (during board games) and after (during a slightly heated conversation about car permits..) which overall I was quite pleased with! Turns out adding apple and orange juice works well to dampen down the sweetness of shop bought mince meat. Alternatively as my housemate did, you can literally stew raisins/sultantas/candied peel for hours - drink the liquid and save the pulp for mincemeat! Next year I might add in some nuts for crunchiness. And I heard even chocolate can work well... maybe that takes the mince truly out of mince pies though...!
In two days my family come up for our elongated Christmas celebration on one of the Scottish islands in the west. We thought last year would be our last together and so for the first time went away for it, to Lapland. We were extremely lucky and caught a glimpse of the Northern Lights whilst sitting on sleighs being pulled by reindeer, at 5pm on Christmas Day. This sounds made up but it is in fact, true! So there's an extremely high bar to beat, but with board games, ginger wine, a gingerbread train to make and a ready-roasted turkey to bake, I think we'll be in for another treat :)
I'm now in my second post as a junior doctor, working at a district general in what really can only be described as the Scottish countryside. It is nice, very different to my old job. The pace is certainly slower and in part that is because of the speciality, and in part because of the hospital and the general atmosphere in which people work. People have time for you. Time to be nice and smile and generally try to help one another. So overall I feel the support is very "overt" unlike my last place of work. However, and there is a but of course! I actually really miss my old job... Not the hours, and not the fact that my job quickly became my entire existence except when I had days off in lieu of the really rather insane hours we were working. When I think about it now, sometimes it almost seems like maybe it didn't really happen, it was so bad! But I have known for some time, I'm generally a very impatient person. And therefore breaks, and having time to mill around during the day do not mix as well with my personality as I thought they might. Not that I prefer a break-less day!
I digress.
So I'm now actually already back from the countryside for my 10-day-probably-once-in-my-career-Christmas-break! Today was spent preparing our Christmas meal - slow roasted lamb with slow roasted veg, followed by a delectable pavlova and washed down with wine, port and stilton. My contribution was three types of home made mince pies for before (during board games) and after (during a slightly heated conversation about car permits..) which overall I was quite pleased with! Turns out adding apple and orange juice works well to dampen down the sweetness of shop bought mince meat. Alternatively as my housemate did, you can literally stew raisins/sultantas/candied peel for hours - drink the liquid and save the pulp for mincemeat! Next year I might add in some nuts for crunchiness. And I heard even chocolate can work well... maybe that takes the mince truly out of mince pies though...!
In two days my family come up for our elongated Christmas celebration on one of the Scottish islands in the west. We thought last year would be our last together and so for the first time went away for it, to Lapland. We were extremely lucky and caught a glimpse of the Northern Lights whilst sitting on sleighs being pulled by reindeer, at 5pm on Christmas Day. This sounds made up but it is in fact, true! So there's an extremely high bar to beat, but with board games, ginger wine, a gingerbread train to make and a ready-roasted turkey to bake, I think we'll be in for another treat :)
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
2 months and an #indyref
It's 23rd September which means I have now been living in (a non-independent) Scotland for 8 weeks pretty much exactly, and been practising as an F1 for 7. Time flies when you're having fun, eh...? Or just when you're too busy to realise perhaps..?!
There's been so much that is new to me. More so than I guess I've ever experienced. The working out how to get the bus, where to buy my toilet roll at 2230, where to grind your own almond nut butter (yes it exists and yes it's worth the walking 20 minutes out of my way to grind it myself!)... to who to trust... on the street, on the wards, and when to just trust yourself.
Then there was even a slight wave of politics that ran through me. Yes the #indyref as they called it.
I have never, ever been once remotely interested in what in politics - not when I was 16, despite spending most waking hours of my life physically in the shadow of parliament, and not now, despite many of my friends reminding me I should be otherwise. But this time was different. A question had been raised that might change the course of modern history. And Everyone (with a capital E) was talking about it. Yes and No posters lined and do still line the windows. Badges were being worn. The news was rife with Team Westminster vs Salmond - I couldn't escape it even on a treadmill!
It was when I started speaking to some students during my postgrad freshers week that I realised the seriousness to the situation. Some of them were a few years younger than me, fresh out of an undergrad degree or just a mature student about to start university a bit later in life. But I realised that whilst I was young and naive, they were even more so. In the same way I was a few years back. Their votes were their family's vote - not one that was informed and certainly not autonomous. This kicked me to go read up a bit more about both campaigns - there were plenty of flyers coming through our letter box but I needed less propaganda and more facts. And there hit the problem. There were few facts because most of the campaign was hinging on yet again politicians making up their own!
To cut a long story short, my conclusion was, that simply because of this, it most definitely had to be a No. The risks involved that would have surfaced if independence had been won were far too great. Salmond is charismatic, a true Scot at heart and in head, but I'm afraid I have to say the Yes campaign was based on little more than that; nationalists who wished their identities to be made official with a stamp and maybe a passport, and nothing more.
On Thursday 18th September, the day finally came, and even our hospital couldn't escape the excitement. There was talk of patients going on "day pass" so they could cast their vote, patients telling me they hadn't slept all night as they were listening to the radio, or the neighbouring patient was and so no-one in the bay had slept! There was a nervousness about.
On Friday morning, I awoke to read the news: Scotland has voted No. I felt a wave of relief. I didn't want to see the country I had just moved to potentially crumble to pieces even if it most probably wouldn't affect me! Things are good as they are. If it ain't broke therefore, best not to fix it.
I then drove past Yes campaigners drinking their sorrows away at 0730 in the morning sitting out on their windowledge. Our Scots will be Scots!
There's been so much that is new to me. More so than I guess I've ever experienced. The working out how to get the bus, where to buy my toilet roll at 2230, where to grind your own almond nut butter (yes it exists and yes it's worth the walking 20 minutes out of my way to grind it myself!)... to who to trust... on the street, on the wards, and when to just trust yourself.
Then there was even a slight wave of politics that ran through me. Yes the #indyref as they called it.
I have never, ever been once remotely interested in what in politics - not when I was 16, despite spending most waking hours of my life physically in the shadow of parliament, and not now, despite many of my friends reminding me I should be otherwise. But this time was different. A question had been raised that might change the course of modern history. And Everyone (with a capital E) was talking about it. Yes and No posters lined and do still line the windows. Badges were being worn. The news was rife with Team Westminster vs Salmond - I couldn't escape it even on a treadmill!
It was when I started speaking to some students during my postgrad freshers week that I realised the seriousness to the situation. Some of them were a few years younger than me, fresh out of an undergrad degree or just a mature student about to start university a bit later in life. But I realised that whilst I was young and naive, they were even more so. In the same way I was a few years back. Their votes were their family's vote - not one that was informed and certainly not autonomous. This kicked me to go read up a bit more about both campaigns - there were plenty of flyers coming through our letter box but I needed less propaganda and more facts. And there hit the problem. There were few facts because most of the campaign was hinging on yet again politicians making up their own!
To cut a long story short, my conclusion was, that simply because of this, it most definitely had to be a No. The risks involved that would have surfaced if independence had been won were far too great. Salmond is charismatic, a true Scot at heart and in head, but I'm afraid I have to say the Yes campaign was based on little more than that; nationalists who wished their identities to be made official with a stamp and maybe a passport, and nothing more.
On Thursday 18th September, the day finally came, and even our hospital couldn't escape the excitement. There was talk of patients going on "day pass" so they could cast their vote, patients telling me they hadn't slept all night as they were listening to the radio, or the neighbouring patient was and so no-one in the bay had slept! There was a nervousness about.
On Friday morning, I awoke to read the news: Scotland has voted No. I felt a wave of relief. I didn't want to see the country I had just moved to potentially crumble to pieces even if it most probably wouldn't affect me! Things are good as they are. If it ain't broke therefore, best not to fix it.
I then drove past Yes campaigners drinking their sorrows away at 0730 in the morning sitting out on their windowledge. Our Scots will be Scots!
Friday, 5 September 2014
Edinburgh
It's late and I'm preparing for my second batch of nights which start tomorrow, but I shan't bore you with more about the life of a baby doc - instead about my new home, Edinburgh.
What I found promising before coming here were the responses to "I'm moving to Edinburgh". No one ever replied with an "oh" or "OH". Instead there would usually be something along the lines of "Oooh I love Edinburgh" or "it's such a nice place", to which I would smile with relief at my decision being reaffirmed that maybe it was the right one.
Then when I came, I loved that the locals also loved their city (NB there's a lot of loving in this post!). In fact I distinctly remember my landlady chanting the same words I had heard from the taxi driver the day I signed my contract "I wouldn't live anywhere else in the world." Very promising! And you know, today as I was driving across the Forth Bridge (thinking to myself who needs San Francisco with this?!) to venture into what is signposted the "Kingdom of Fife" (no joke), I could totally see why they wouldn't.
Edinburgh is a lovely old yet new place. In the Old Town the architecture is quite gothic as my sister puts it, dark and towering spires in every corner but also mysteriously beautiful. Then of course you have all the new glassy modern buildings that every other European city has too, reminding you not to forget this city is also a part of the 21st century.
Then there are the people here, who are so much more friendly than I've ever been used to. People say thank you when leaving the bus (something thought of as profoundly strange in London, not that I've seen it much done!), people smile at each other on the street, greet each other in hospital, help each other without being prompted. Talking of helping each other, a new neighbour knocked on the door today, wearing no shoes, locked outside his flat! We agreed to lend him a pair of our flatmate's flip-flops so he could retrieve keys from a friend down the road. This is the second neighbour to knock on our door with a slightly random request! But here, helping one another, even if you haven't met before really isn't a strange thing. In fact, as I write this I realise writing about it at all is such a sad thing. This should be the norm!
There are literally umpteen other reasons as to why I love it so much already... great food (even for a choosey foodie!), the countryside, beach and mountains on your doorstep, a short, relatively stress-free commute to work, pop up ever-changing festivals and markets, standalone cafés and shops, a culture that embraces keeping fit... the only downsides really are the unpredictable weather and my family being 4 hours away! But I'm getting accustomed to both those things... and actually next week I'll be in London - my first trip "down South" since the big move. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I have to say though I know I love it too, I'm not actually missing London, yet! I'm sure the time will come but for now, (with or without independence), it's Scawwwwt-luund all the way!
What I found promising before coming here were the responses to "I'm moving to Edinburgh". No one ever replied with an "oh" or "OH". Instead there would usually be something along the lines of "Oooh I love Edinburgh" or "it's such a nice place", to which I would smile with relief at my decision being reaffirmed that maybe it was the right one.
Then when I came, I loved that the locals also loved their city (NB there's a lot of loving in this post!). In fact I distinctly remember my landlady chanting the same words I had heard from the taxi driver the day I signed my contract "I wouldn't live anywhere else in the world." Very promising! And you know, today as I was driving across the Forth Bridge (thinking to myself who needs San Francisco with this?!) to venture into what is signposted the "Kingdom of Fife" (no joke), I could totally see why they wouldn't.
Edinburgh is a lovely old yet new place. In the Old Town the architecture is quite gothic as my sister puts it, dark and towering spires in every corner but also mysteriously beautiful. Then of course you have all the new glassy modern buildings that every other European city has too, reminding you not to forget this city is also a part of the 21st century.
Then there are the people here, who are so much more friendly than I've ever been used to. People say thank you when leaving the bus (something thought of as profoundly strange in London, not that I've seen it much done!), people smile at each other on the street, greet each other in hospital, help each other without being prompted. Talking of helping each other, a new neighbour knocked on the door today, wearing no shoes, locked outside his flat! We agreed to lend him a pair of our flatmate's flip-flops so he could retrieve keys from a friend down the road. This is the second neighbour to knock on our door with a slightly random request! But here, helping one another, even if you haven't met before really isn't a strange thing. In fact, as I write this I realise writing about it at all is such a sad thing. This should be the norm!
There are literally umpteen other reasons as to why I love it so much already... great food (even for a choosey foodie!), the countryside, beach and mountains on your doorstep, a short, relatively stress-free commute to work, pop up ever-changing festivals and markets, standalone cafés and shops, a culture that embraces keeping fit... the only downsides really are the unpredictable weather and my family being 4 hours away! But I'm getting accustomed to both those things... and actually next week I'll be in London - my first trip "down South" since the big move. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I have to say though I know I love it too, I'm not actually missing London, yet! I'm sure the time will come but for now, (with or without independence), it's Scawwwwt-luund all the way!
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
A new home from home
Well, just 7 months after I heard I was coming here, I finally am: in Edinburgh! It's been of course slightly hectic! I flew out of London on Friday, arrived in Glasgow in the weekend lapping up some of the Commonwealth Games (hearing a whole stadium shout "Scccaaawwwtttt-luuuunnnnnd" is not something to forget!), catching up with old friends, having haggis and potato scones for breakfast (apparently that's how an English breakfast becomes a Scottish one?) and then by Sunday evening I was here in my new home :D
I was apprehensive, about the room I'd seen once, the new housemates half of whom I hadn't yet met, the hospital I'd also laid eyes on only once, the place I had visited just a handful of times. But it's all panned out really far better than I could have asked for!
For starters, my housemates (despite heated discussions over Whatsapp regarding who was taking which room for what price) are all very agreeable and already I can see the support that undoubtedly we will each rely on when we really start work, is blossoming. Tomorrow will be our first house meal out :)
The flat itself is also situated in a wonderful part of Edinburgh (Bruntsfield) - peppered with quaint cafes, two ice cream parlours a stone's throw away and the sorts of restaurants which you know must only serve home-made food - all my kind of thing! ;) And also lots of lovely shops you wouldn't find on a drab English high street.
Yesterday we all met the 190 or so doctors starting here for the first time. It felt remarkably like being at your first day of school except already there were many cliques! Of course all the Scottish universities had a cohort of representatives as expected, and I was relieved that I at least knew my housemates!
Then today was our first day at the hospital at which I will be spending a good part of 8 months this year working at. It's not too fancy, not too big and not too small and importantly whilst slightly disorganised people seemed friendly enough! I also met my fellow juniors who will be working along side me and they were all lovely :) It makes me slightly less dread the two 87.5hour weeks I have ahead of me!
This afternoon I had some time to cook for the first time in a while, and also move about the furniture in my room. I always find I feel much more at home once I've added a spot of me to a room - and it's true, it now feels like mine :) There are two tartan (of course) throws on the bed, but union jack bunting on my fireplace... my desk looks out towards my only narrow but tall window, and a few photos sparsely colour the walls. In a few weeks, when my parents kindly bring up the rest of my belongings that wouldn't fit into a suitcase (queue bike, kitchen utensils, printer, the list goes on...) I'm sure this room will resemble the tip of a room I very almost left in London! Then it'll definitely feel like my own ;)
I was apprehensive, about the room I'd seen once, the new housemates half of whom I hadn't yet met, the hospital I'd also laid eyes on only once, the place I had visited just a handful of times. But it's all panned out really far better than I could have asked for!
For starters, my housemates (despite heated discussions over Whatsapp regarding who was taking which room for what price) are all very agreeable and already I can see the support that undoubtedly we will each rely on when we really start work, is blossoming. Tomorrow will be our first house meal out :)
The flat itself is also situated in a wonderful part of Edinburgh (Bruntsfield) - peppered with quaint cafes, two ice cream parlours a stone's throw away and the sorts of restaurants which you know must only serve home-made food - all my kind of thing! ;) And also lots of lovely shops you wouldn't find on a drab English high street.
Yesterday we all met the 190 or so doctors starting here for the first time. It felt remarkably like being at your first day of school except already there were many cliques! Of course all the Scottish universities had a cohort of representatives as expected, and I was relieved that I at least knew my housemates!
Then today was our first day at the hospital at which I will be spending a good part of 8 months this year working at. It's not too fancy, not too big and not too small and importantly whilst slightly disorganised people seemed friendly enough! I also met my fellow juniors who will be working along side me and they were all lovely :) It makes me slightly less dread the two 87.5hour weeks I have ahead of me!
This afternoon I had some time to cook for the first time in a while, and also move about the furniture in my room. I always find I feel much more at home once I've added a spot of me to a room - and it's true, it now feels like mine :) There are two tartan (of course) throws on the bed, but union jack bunting on my fireplace... my desk looks out towards my only narrow but tall window, and a few photos sparsely colour the walls. In a few weeks, when my parents kindly bring up the rest of my belongings that wouldn't fit into a suitcase (queue bike, kitchen utensils, printer, the list goes on...) I'm sure this room will resemble the tip of a room I very almost left in London! Then it'll definitely feel like my own ;)
Thursday, 10 April 2014
The longest night of my life?
...Is probably tonight! In a few hours I find out whether or not I managed to prove that after six (sometimes happy, sometimes less so!) years I have accumulated enough knowledge to be bestowed the priviledge of being a junior doctor.
One hopes that one has, but there is always that element of doubt...
I am sure that my entire year group, despite being scattered across the world, is feeling the same way. We ended our last exam just about a week ago and have since embarked on our "electives" = 2.5 months to gather experience in any healthcare system you wish. There is also some time to relax :) and so currently I am with my grandparents in Calgary, West Canada.
Though I only had three short days to sort out my life (!) after my last exam and coming here (I had essentially been a hermit for about 2 months), as soon as I hopped on the plane I felt completely relaxed. That feeling of not having deadlines, endless to do lists, a slither of stress in every footstep... Basically that everyday life that we carve for ourselves, is the feeling I seem to endlessly crave and one which only when I am "on holiday" do I truly remember exists. The best medicine for any illness :)
The funny thing was on the plane I was reflecting on the first time I had travelled alone on a flight, pretty much exactly 6 years previously on my gap year. That time, I had just embarked and probably within about 10 minutes burst into tears (much to the dismay of the lady next to me.) Whilst I was certain I wanted to "travel", all of a sudden I had realised how many unknowns lay ahead of me that I hadn't really thought through... Would my travel buddy really meet me at the other side? How was I going to eat when I didn't really know how to cook? What if I fall ill? Small, silly things that seemed perfectly sensible doubts then! I laughed at myself when I recalled my fears. Now I almost relish
those unknowns... And the exciting encounters and experiences that come with the unknowns.
For example, going back six years again, you'll be glad to know, I did stop crying once I became engrossed in a film I decided to watch to distract myself. At the end of it, I plucked up the courage to talk to my neighbour, who turned out to be a cardiologist from Sao Paulo where I was headed. She, very sweetly, denied she had seen me crying when I tried to explain my peculiar behaviour. 4 months later when I transitted via Sao Pulo en the way home, I met with her in SP and she took me to lunch and to see her hospital. It's encounters like that that you never forget :)
In a few days I travel to Sydney to meet with two old friends, and then on to New Zealand and South Africa with my sister (the actual work bit!). Memorable encounters certainly await!
Fingers crossed in a few hours, I am greeted with the news that life's adventures can continue without a hiccup!
One hopes that one has, but there is always that element of doubt...
I am sure that my entire year group, despite being scattered across the world, is feeling the same way. We ended our last exam just about a week ago and have since embarked on our "electives" = 2.5 months to gather experience in any healthcare system you wish. There is also some time to relax :) and so currently I am with my grandparents in Calgary, West Canada.
Though I only had three short days to sort out my life (!) after my last exam and coming here (I had essentially been a hermit for about 2 months), as soon as I hopped on the plane I felt completely relaxed. That feeling of not having deadlines, endless to do lists, a slither of stress in every footstep... Basically that everyday life that we carve for ourselves, is the feeling I seem to endlessly crave and one which only when I am "on holiday" do I truly remember exists. The best medicine for any illness :)
The funny thing was on the plane I was reflecting on the first time I had travelled alone on a flight, pretty much exactly 6 years previously on my gap year. That time, I had just embarked and probably within about 10 minutes burst into tears (much to the dismay of the lady next to me.) Whilst I was certain I wanted to "travel", all of a sudden I had realised how many unknowns lay ahead of me that I hadn't really thought through... Would my travel buddy really meet me at the other side? How was I going to eat when I didn't really know how to cook? What if I fall ill? Small, silly things that seemed perfectly sensible doubts then! I laughed at myself when I recalled my fears. Now I almost relish
those unknowns... And the exciting encounters and experiences that come with the unknowns.
For example, going back six years again, you'll be glad to know, I did stop crying once I became engrossed in a film I decided to watch to distract myself. At the end of it, I plucked up the courage to talk to my neighbour, who turned out to be a cardiologist from Sao Paulo where I was headed. She, very sweetly, denied she had seen me crying when I tried to explain my peculiar behaviour. 4 months later when I transitted via Sao Pulo en the way home, I met with her in SP and she took me to lunch and to see her hospital. It's encounters like that that you never forget :)
In a few days I travel to Sydney to meet with two old friends, and then on to New Zealand and South Africa with my sister (the actual work bit!). Memorable encounters certainly await!
Fingers crossed in a few hours, I am greeted with the news that life's adventures can continue without a hiccup!
Monday, 24 February 2014
The Final Hurdle
To my right lies a book entitled the Final Hurdle - I guess when you're reading that as part of your bedtime reading, this must mean this is the real thing! Our first exam is on Friday and tomorrow marks the start of our last week officially in hospital as "medical students". How funny that my first day as a student in hospital doesn't feel so long ago. And oddly enough, I find myself ending my studies in the hospital where I first discovered the excitement of clinical medicine. (Charing Cross if you must know.)
I would say I haven't hit the stress wall yet. Though I'm sure it's out there waiting for me. I guess when you've sat so many exams eventually you get better at postponing the inevitable meeting with that stress wall...! In fact, I probably sound a bit relaxed! There's little point in burning out though before the finish line ;)
I'm currently sitting on a corner on my bed. I sort of have to because the rest of it is covered in paper, books, stationary, a hairbrush, clothes and oh yes then there's the duvet..! And my room unfortunately mirrors my bed in terms of space : clutter ratio!
I look forward avidly to the afternoon when I can sit here for as long as I want, without feeling guilty, rather than blogging away to Coldplay hoping I'll soon feel sleepy so I don't feel sleepy in tomorrow's fracture clinic where I plan to practice some of my orthopaedic examination techniques. Not that there's anything not fun about blogging and listening to Coldplay ;)
But yes, freedom awaits. The light at the end of the 6-year tunnel :)
Friday, 24 January 2014
New beginnings
I hope 2014 has begun well for you!
Some exciting news - I accepted my first (medical) job offer today, in Edinburgh! And I really can't wait to start... assuming those small exams around the corner go to plan!
It was a funny feeling, finally pressing "accept" on the jobs website.. I had another offer from the South West (of England) but whilst the research interest suited me there, the clinical jobs I was offered were less to my liking. So jobs-wise the choice seemed clear, but when it came to location, I was less certain... Do I want a 4-hour car journey, or a 4-hour trip involving a car, train, plane and probably 2 buses... I deliberated for pretty much the whole 50 hours we were given to come to a decision and even when I thought I had come to a decision, I still deliberated! But if you've met me before, you would know that is a bit à la moi ;)
A part of me flickered at the thought of finally leaving home, leaving family. Anyone reading this would probably think I sound melodramatic! Which of course I am! But despite being somewhat adventure-loving, I've always been a home-loving girl. And thus the stage of life most 18-year olds (or at least 21-year olds) go through for me had only ever been pseudo-moves away... before going on trips abroad... or just to the other side of London where I could easily pop back. So childish 24-year-old me feels like she is growing up!
The nice thing is that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that there really is now a purpose to all the revision: the patients whom I'll be caring for. For example, my first job will be in colorectal surgery which involves looking after patients who have conditions of the big bowels/intestines. This is not really a field I'm interested in at all in the long term, but funnily enough the one I was shadowing in just before Christmas. Back then it was just an experience to learn from.. whereas now I am definitely paying a bit more attention to all the colon-associated paragraphs I'm reading!
So... the very-much-a-London-girl is finally moving on :D
Some exciting news - I accepted my first (medical) job offer today, in Edinburgh! And I really can't wait to start... assuming those small exams around the corner go to plan!
It was a funny feeling, finally pressing "accept" on the jobs website.. I had another offer from the South West (of England) but whilst the research interest suited me there, the clinical jobs I was offered were less to my liking. So jobs-wise the choice seemed clear, but when it came to location, I was less certain... Do I want a 4-hour car journey, or a 4-hour trip involving a car, train, plane and probably 2 buses... I deliberated for pretty much the whole 50 hours we were given to come to a decision and even when I thought I had come to a decision, I still deliberated! But if you've met me before, you would know that is a bit à la moi ;)
A part of me flickered at the thought of finally leaving home, leaving family. Anyone reading this would probably think I sound melodramatic! Which of course I am! But despite being somewhat adventure-loving, I've always been a home-loving girl. And thus the stage of life most 18-year olds (or at least 21-year olds) go through for me had only ever been pseudo-moves away... before going on trips abroad... or just to the other side of London where I could easily pop back. So childish 24-year-old me feels like she is growing up!
The nice thing is that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that there really is now a purpose to all the revision: the patients whom I'll be caring for. For example, my first job will be in colorectal surgery which involves looking after patients who have conditions of the big bowels/intestines. This is not really a field I'm interested in at all in the long term, but funnily enough the one I was shadowing in just before Christmas. Back then it was just an experience to learn from.. whereas now I am definitely paying a bit more attention to all the colon-associated paragraphs I'm reading!
So... the very-much-a-London-girl is finally moving on :D
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| The Shetlands...where the slight love affair with Scotland probably started. Photo by my friend Bron. |
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas
So it's the tenth day of the twelfth month of possibly what feels like the shortest year of life so far..! 2013 seems to have passed me by... The other day I was thinking about what I've been up to for the last 11-and-a-half months to make it feel like so much less.
In March, I commenced probably the one placement in medical school I always I would enjoy. But in fact it turned out to be a bit of an ordeal! Obstetrics and gynaecology ("O&G") deals with health and disease surrounding birth, and women. As I had previously spent an extra year studying for a BSc in Reproductive and Developmental Sciences, I had thought this field could be my calling. The reality however was very different to my expectations. Whilst I didn't mind the "G" side, the "O" left me even wondering for the first time, if medicine was always a good thing..
In May, I was sent to a hospital placement outside of London. An excuse to finally use the driving skills I apparently had but rarely used! I drove on a motorway for the first time and got used to a daily commute. I realised I actually quite enjoyed the long drives, which I now often do voluntarily - it's an opportunity to blast out music and sing and feel only slightly silly! :P
So come October, when it was time to apply for our first jobs, London didn't appear in my top three choices at all. Instead I applied to the SouthWest/Bristol, Scotland and Oxford. Why such varied regions? For me, I didn't like the idea of going somewhere I didn't know at all... that would entail a bit too much risk! So instead, I opted for the regions of the UK I had often been to with my family when we were younger.
Preparing and going for the interviews was like applying to university all over again. Except this time, they were far less nice! Each 20-minute grilling was tough, but a great learning experience. Whatever the outcome, I feel I have made the right choice leaving my hometown. For now anyway!
The year started off fairly quietly from what I remember (and hence the starting of this blog!), but deep behind the façade of calm was an inner fear that the exams our elders had always reminded us were the hardest of them all, were approaching. I trudged along, going into the various placements we had been sent to. The first one in January was a GP placement. Here I was allowed to have my own "clinics", getting to see patients for the first time by myself, before reporting back to a doctor.
A particular highlight was helping to diagnose a patient with diabetes... It was a shock to them, I remember, and me too actually, as they had come in for a completely different problem, but one of the tests seemed to show that they were very likely to have diabetes. I remember she was scared, afraid to be labelled with this new diagnosis. I tried to explain that actually though it might not feel nice, it was better to have been "caught" early on rather than for example because diabetic complications had arisen. At least she could be treated and hopefully those complications be avoided. Rather ironically I remember guiltily having a doughnut that evening and thinking of this new diabetic patient. No one is perfect!
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| Who can say no to the Krispy Kreme factory after a hard day's work?! |
In March, I commenced probably the one placement in medical school I always I would enjoy. But in fact it turned out to be a bit of an ordeal! Obstetrics and gynaecology ("O&G") deals with health and disease surrounding birth, and women. As I had previously spent an extra year studying for a BSc in Reproductive and Developmental Sciences, I had thought this field could be my calling. The reality however was very different to my expectations. Whilst I didn't mind the "G" side, the "O" left me even wondering for the first time, if medicine was always a good thing..
On day 1 of labour week I watched my first delivery. I remember feeling very odd. The mum-to-be was screaming in pain, and over the hours as I stood with her and her husband, the pain intensified and her anguish became understandably, more and more apparent. And yet, we all knew that the pain "had to be there", almost as though the pain was good, that pain was progress, for her and the baby. Fortunately her labour was fairly short, about 3 hours, and the instantaneous joy we all felt when that head popped out was a feeling I won't forget. She probably could have delivered at home, she required little pain relief and really the hospital provided her a safe, supportive environment but little else.
On day 2 however, I witnessed when delivery can go so wrongly. This time, this mum-to-be had delivered successfully with the help of forceps (an instrument to help the baby come out when it is struggling) but then suffered the most dreaded of complications of pregnancy: postpartum haemorrhage. I.e. massive bleeding after giving birth.
It was a terrible sight. The baby was blissfully unaware, healthy and safe in her new father's arms. His face however was in shock. His wife was getting weak from the blood loss and she was briskly wheeled away to theatre, blood and equipment left on the floor of the empty room. I looked to him. We were the only ones left in the room. He burst into tears.
I went back and forth from theatre to his room, checking he was okay. Even today, I cannot imagine what he could have been feeling, his new family on the cusp on disappearing as fast as it had formed.
I myself was battling away tears. I had never seen an emergency like this, and as the team fought on trying to stop the bleeding and transfusing in blood, I feared she might not make it.
Fortunately she did. She was in ICU (intensive care unit) for a week, and her husband and new child lived in a side room on a ward whilst they waited for her recovery. Over the days she began to regain the ability to breathe for herself, and then speak. They named their child "Hope".
This, and a collection of other anecdotes, made me quite certain I didn't feel the highs and lows of O&G could be for me.
In April I moved into a new place: the 13th floor of a halls of residence. I'd never lived anywhere so high up before, not even in a hotel from what I recall. The view from the window is lovely but the perpetual quietness was something I had to get used to. It was a new way of living for me. My flatmates are very nice, but we don't live as a "household" in the way my old housemates and I used to. Having no unit to come home to is what I miss, however the flip side was it was the perfect place to study and develop a newfound independence.
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| The view from my room on a particularly spectacular evening in November |
In May, I was sent to a hospital placement outside of London. An excuse to finally use the driving skills I apparently had but rarely used! I drove on a motorway for the first time and got used to a daily commute. I realised I actually quite enjoyed the long drives, which I now often do voluntarily - it's an opportunity to blast out music and sing and feel only slightly silly! :P
In June, the dreaded 5th year exams came like a storm, causing havoc to us all. And then leaving us to deal with the damage. That's what summer holidays are usually for, no?! Except this time, we only had two weeks, not a few months! A sign that soon we would have no "summer holidays" at all...
Our sixth and final year began in July. The start was a blur, most of us still reeling from the unrelentingness of the fifth year. (No sooner had we written our last exam, one of our Professors emailed us explaining when our next exam would take place!)
Hospital placements began again in August. I started with A&E which I loved. I have always enjoyed general medicine, and here I could see it being put in practice, at a fast pace, and sometimes even be a useful part of that process. "I'm Alex, a final year medical student" sounded odd and took some getting used to. "Final year" gives rise to expectations... you should be able to do some things, and you certainly should be able to recall a lot! The pressure was on.
Then in September I had probably my best placement in medical school. 2.5 weeks in the Shetlands! And it was during those weeks, that I realised that I was ready to move on. To leave London, at least for a while. I guess when you've lived in the same place you were born your whole life, you eventually yearn for new pastures! I had never thought I would, and I do still love London, but now feels right.
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| Unst, the Shetlands (where it's perfectly safe to walk on roads!) |
So come October, when it was time to apply for our first jobs, London didn't appear in my top three choices at all. Instead I applied to the SouthWest/Bristol, Scotland and Oxford. Why such varied regions? For me, I didn't like the idea of going somewhere I didn't know at all... that would entail a bit too much risk! So instead, I opted for the regions of the UK I had often been to with my family when we were younger.
So the forms went in. I additionally applied to academic jobs (ones with teaching and research) which meant there was be the possibility of interviews to come. And they did: three back to back. Two so back to back that I travelled to Plymouth and straight up to Edinburgh in the next day! The third and last one took place exactly a week ago.
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| The wall of the bathroom of the Café where JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter! (Interview trips to Edinburgh can have more than one purpose!!) |
Preparing and going for the interviews was like applying to university all over again. Except this time, they were far less nice! Each 20-minute grilling was tough, but a great learning experience. Whatever the outcome, I feel I have made the right choice leaving my hometown. For now anyway!
So now it's back to concentrating on my placements and general revision for those dreaded Finals..!
But Christmas is before that :P
I hope you're enjoying the festivities - December is in my opinion, one of the best months of the year. People seem cheery despite the ever-darkening skies, you're allowed to eat a piece of chocolate/biscuit a day, shopping all of a sudden has an acceptable underlying purpose and you can plan all those resolutions you are SO going to stick to the following year!
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| Happy Advent! |
P.s. If you've made it to here, well done, you must be a good listener! :P
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