The year started off fairly quietly from what I remember (and hence the starting of this blog!), but deep behind the façade of calm was an inner fear that the exams our elders had always reminded us were the hardest of them all, were approaching. I trudged along, going into the various placements we had been sent to. The first one in January was a GP placement. Here I was allowed to have my own "clinics", getting to see patients for the first time by myself, before reporting back to a doctor.
A particular highlight was helping to diagnose a patient with diabetes... It was a shock to them, I remember, and me too actually, as they had come in for a completely different problem, but one of the tests seemed to show that they were very likely to have diabetes. I remember she was scared, afraid to be labelled with this new diagnosis. I tried to explain that actually though it might not feel nice, it was better to have been "caught" early on rather than for example because diabetic complications had arisen. At least she could be treated and hopefully those complications be avoided. Rather ironically I remember guiltily having a doughnut that evening and thinking of this new diabetic patient. No one is perfect!
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| Who can say no to the Krispy Kreme factory after a hard day's work?! |
In March, I commenced probably the one placement in medical school I always I would enjoy. But in fact it turned out to be a bit of an ordeal! Obstetrics and gynaecology ("O&G") deals with health and disease surrounding birth, and women. As I had previously spent an extra year studying for a BSc in Reproductive and Developmental Sciences, I had thought this field could be my calling. The reality however was very different to my expectations. Whilst I didn't mind the "G" side, the "O" left me even wondering for the first time, if medicine was always a good thing..
On day 1 of labour week I watched my first delivery. I remember feeling very odd. The mum-to-be was screaming in pain, and over the hours as I stood with her and her husband, the pain intensified and her anguish became understandably, more and more apparent. And yet, we all knew that the pain "had to be there", almost as though the pain was good, that pain was progress, for her and the baby. Fortunately her labour was fairly short, about 3 hours, and the instantaneous joy we all felt when that head popped out was a feeling I won't forget. She probably could have delivered at home, she required little pain relief and really the hospital provided her a safe, supportive environment but little else.
On day 2 however, I witnessed when delivery can go so wrongly. This time, this mum-to-be had delivered successfully with the help of forceps (an instrument to help the baby come out when it is struggling) but then suffered the most dreaded of complications of pregnancy: postpartum haemorrhage. I.e. massive bleeding after giving birth.
It was a terrible sight. The baby was blissfully unaware, healthy and safe in her new father's arms. His face however was in shock. His wife was getting weak from the blood loss and she was briskly wheeled away to theatre, blood and equipment left on the floor of the empty room. I looked to him. We were the only ones left in the room. He burst into tears.
I went back and forth from theatre to his room, checking he was okay. Even today, I cannot imagine what he could have been feeling, his new family on the cusp on disappearing as fast as it had formed.
I myself was battling away tears. I had never seen an emergency like this, and as the team fought on trying to stop the bleeding and transfusing in blood, I feared she might not make it.
Fortunately she did. She was in ICU (intensive care unit) for a week, and her husband and new child lived in a side room on a ward whilst they waited for her recovery. Over the days she began to regain the ability to breathe for herself, and then speak. They named their child "Hope".
This, and a collection of other anecdotes, made me quite certain I didn't feel the highs and lows of O&G could be for me.
In April I moved into a new place: the 13th floor of a halls of residence. I'd never lived anywhere so high up before, not even in a hotel from what I recall. The view from the window is lovely but the perpetual quietness was something I had to get used to. It was a new way of living for me. My flatmates are very nice, but we don't live as a "household" in the way my old housemates and I used to. Having no unit to come home to is what I miss, however the flip side was it was the perfect place to study and develop a newfound independence.
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| The view from my room on a particularly spectacular evening in November |
In May, I was sent to a hospital placement outside of London. An excuse to finally use the driving skills I apparently had but rarely used! I drove on a motorway for the first time and got used to a daily commute. I realised I actually quite enjoyed the long drives, which I now often do voluntarily - it's an opportunity to blast out music and sing and feel only slightly silly! :P
In June, the dreaded 5th year exams came like a storm, causing havoc to us all. And then leaving us to deal with the damage. That's what summer holidays are usually for, no?! Except this time, we only had two weeks, not a few months! A sign that soon we would have no "summer holidays" at all...
Our sixth and final year began in July. The start was a blur, most of us still reeling from the unrelentingness of the fifth year. (No sooner had we written our last exam, one of our Professors emailed us explaining when our next exam would take place!)
Hospital placements began again in August. I started with A&E which I loved. I have always enjoyed general medicine, and here I could see it being put in practice, at a fast pace, and sometimes even be a useful part of that process. "I'm Alex, a final year medical student" sounded odd and took some getting used to. "Final year" gives rise to expectations... you should be able to do some things, and you certainly should be able to recall a lot! The pressure was on.
Then in September I had probably my best placement in medical school. 2.5 weeks in the Shetlands! And it was during those weeks, that I realised that I was ready to move on. To leave London, at least for a while. I guess when you've lived in the same place you were born your whole life, you eventually yearn for new pastures! I had never thought I would, and I do still love London, but now feels right.
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| Unst, the Shetlands (where it's perfectly safe to walk on roads!) |
So come October, when it was time to apply for our first jobs, London didn't appear in my top three choices at all. Instead I applied to the SouthWest/Bristol, Scotland and Oxford. Why such varied regions? For me, I didn't like the idea of going somewhere I didn't know at all... that would entail a bit too much risk! So instead, I opted for the regions of the UK I had often been to with my family when we were younger.
So the forms went in. I additionally applied to academic jobs (ones with teaching and research) which meant there was be the possibility of interviews to come. And they did: three back to back. Two so back to back that I travelled to Plymouth and straight up to Edinburgh in the next day! The third and last one took place exactly a week ago.
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| The wall of the bathroom of the Café where JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter! (Interview trips to Edinburgh can have more than one purpose!!) |
Preparing and going for the interviews was like applying to university all over again. Except this time, they were far less nice! Each 20-minute grilling was tough, but a great learning experience. Whatever the outcome, I feel I have made the right choice leaving my hometown. For now anyway!
So now it's back to concentrating on my placements and general revision for those dreaded Finals..!
But Christmas is before that :P
I hope you're enjoying the festivities - December is in my opinion, one of the best months of the year. People seem cheery despite the ever-darkening skies, you're allowed to eat a piece of chocolate/biscuit a day, shopping all of a sudden has an acceptable underlying purpose and you can plan all those resolutions you are SO going to stick to the following year!
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| Happy Advent! |
P.s. If you've made it to here, well done, you must be a good listener! :P
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