Tomorrow will be day 8 of my first and only 12 day run. From August working more than 7 days in a row will be illegal, hurrah!
So far, it's going ?okay I think!
I'm alive anyway, just about.
Today was an atypical day. I was lucky, we had a weekend phlebotomist, which meant a lot of time saved rather than me taking 10 people's bloods after the ward round. My registrar was also extremely efficient but also thorough - everything you want in your senior!
We finished seeing everyone by 2pm. Later in the afternoon I had to update a family on their poorly family member. Usually this is the sort of conversation you dread on a weekend, as it often a patient whom you've only met once or twice. In the case however I knew this lady. I had seen her on admission albeit one month ago. I filled with dread however when I saw how sleepy and muddled she was today. Her deterioration was clear and I feared the worst. I met with the family - they recognised me as I had previously given them bad news! Not really a reason you want people to remember you. On the whole they took the news well, though her son, who last time had initially reacted angrily broke into tears. I could see he had slowly come to accept her fate. All the same, it was a difficult scene to watch and be a part of and I myself couldn't help but get a bit upset. You always feel for your patients, and especially so when they are so kind to others.
Half an hour later I found myself caught in another conversation. This time difficult for different reasons. The friend of a patient who was shall we say abnormally involved in her care pressed as to why she hadn't been consulted. It's difficult to say "because it's not your business" politely however much you sugar coat it! Our discussion - mainly her ranting - left me disheartened. Sometimes you try your best for your patient, and even then you can't please everyone.
Things calmed down, then in evening I started checking in on those patients we had been "keeping an eye on". One of them was very drowsy - she had been earlier and we had commenced intravenous antibiotics to help fight what we thought was a hospital acquired pneumonia. I didn't like that she still remained drowsy. Again, I updated her family, and they were very grateful. A friend of mine wisely said he felt 90% of complaints in hospital come from miscommunication or lack or, and he's not wrong.
The patient perked up a little, actually whilst the family were there, and I relaxed. When they left, I checked her again. Drowsy. I felt an unease. Did she really have a pneumonia or had we totally missed something? It was time for me to handover but again someone wise once said if you won't be able to get to sleep thinking about something, sort it out. I went back and examined again. I made a new plan, sent off extra bloods, arranged a further XR and asked to nurse to try a few things. I went back one last time and finally went to handover. Tomorrow I'll find out if any of my inklings were right.
Overall just another day as an F1 (soon to be a baby F2!) but another huge learning curve and a sizeable host of situations I hadn't been in before to learn during and from.
Some words that will remain with me from today... "I wouldn't want your job" (dying patient's family) and "you've been delightful" (complaining family member) and even from a (mildly confused) patient "I love you to bits".
Ah the highs and low of being a doctor.
Ps Hurry up and do some work Jeremy. PLEASE.
